A Comprehensive Record of Austin Walker Crashing Cars


#1

I’d like the jury to direct their attention to what I believe is a trend. Austin Walker has had difficulty maintaining control of his VMV (virtual motor vehicles). Please consider the evidence.

The first occurrence that has been brought to my attention can be found here, and while its outcome was not catastrophic, it could very well have been. Further, observe this early example of a mishap involving a motor vehicle, while not necessarily a crash, here. There was also an incident in which Mr. Walker crashed a motorcycle in PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds while attempting to do a backflip.

In his State of Decay 2 review found here, Mr. Walker details an incident in which he crashed a Ms. Jennifer Abboud’s truck. Mr. Walker also had several, frequently smaller, mishaps while playing the video game Mad Max. In the recent past, there was a week when Mr. Walker destroyed three separate cars on three separate occasions.

On May 21th, 2018:

On May 24th, 2018:

On May 25th, 2018:

Any further evidence of this pattern would be useful in creating a comprehensive record and would be greatly appreciated. Only time will show how many cars will find themselves under the control of Mr. Walker behind their wheel. Only time.

(p.s. this is all in good fun im not trying to be meanspirited if it comes off that way take it down or move it i didnt know if dokes was better for this but pbth)


#2

Unsurprising. It’s Austin Walker not Austin Roller. He’s clearly a mech specialist.


#3

A clear example of why you don’t read chat and drive!


#4

Papa Bear’s gonna pop-a wheelie right off of a bridge


#5

God, I remember when he honked the horn and fell out the car. It was so funny.


#6

I remember one of the early PUBG streams on the newer map where he nearly killed himself doing motorbike jumps


#7

I mean his defence statement is there in the video: “Cars are hard. [I rest my case your honour.]”


#8

To be fair, PUBG has flipped me in the air in a car, spinning till I died in a fiery explosion. My offence? Apparently driving along the road without hitting any obstacles.


#9

Revoke Austin’s virtual driving license, only give it back once he demonstrates that he can complete the tutorial of the original Driver.


#10

Virtual New Yorkers take virtual public transit instead of driving. He probably just never got his virtual driver’s license so who’s really at fault for letting him drive these virtual vehicles.


#11

That tutorial was hilarious, but it really did teach you what you’d need to do in the actual game.


#12

May the court please observe the following video which features countless incidents of vehicle collision.


#13

Gosh.

I got maybe ten minutes into this video before developing a wish list for The Crew 2 to make it an amazing game.

  1. Player factions. Probably 2.
  2. Building destruction.
  3. Alerts for when lots of building destruction is happening in specific areas.
  4. Animations for swapping vehicle type, instead of pop-in.
  5. This sound effect for those animations.
  6. Robot mode, with The Division style combat.
  7. The transformers ip.


#14

thank you for your research on this important matter.


#15

this entire thread is ammaaaaazing. Love the clips.