A More Civilized Age or: How Austin and Rob Made Me Watch 9+ Hours of Bad Star Wars to "Get to the Good Stuff"

Did they not just anticipate the switch with the drinks and poisoned them all? Maybe the poison takes longer to affect Jedi.

Okay so if I had to characterise Jar Jar and Palpatine’s relationship besides the latter using the former to advance his goals, I would say that Jar Jar is the Dewey Crowe to Sheev’s Raylan Givens. He might be a bumbling harmful idiot but Sheev also finds him really funny so he keeps him around.

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Palpatine definitely went to go visit Jar Jar after the destruction of the first Death Star to get cheered up by Jar Jar’s antics (and to feel better about himself because he isn’t a big of an idiot as Jar Jar). It’s revealed that Jar Jar sent out some wide range message to boast about his buds little Annie and the Emperor finally taking out the Rebels. He even mentioned getting a message back from some freighter, and told them to come see what a good pilot little Annie is. They better hurry though because he is on the tail of the last Rebel pilot so they could miss out if they don’t come quick.

Auralnauts once again proving why canon in Star Wars is a nightmare.

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This is canon to me now.

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They seem to struggle to find material in these two episodes, for good reason: they are generally terrible, but also flat and featureless, visually and narratively. I said previously that I didn’t want to dig into this show because it’s a kids show and these are the realities of making something for this specific market, but I can’t help myself

Definitely a lot of getting in your little digs in the Jedi world, almost all their dialog is making a sweet burn or waiting for the opportunity.
Or maybe it’s just Asoka, Annakin and Obi Wan. Especially Obi Wan. Could be why the council sends them to the outer rim so often, you need a break from this constant witty banter.

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Everything Obi Wan says in Clone Wars is made with this expression :smirk:

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Not to whine about this episode more, but are drugs really the best price you can get for Count goddamned Dooku? Like, if I’m a warlord out in the outer rims who just lucked into the biggest threat to the Republic in 1000 years, I don’t want a one-time payoff. I want to be on the payroll.

I want a title, I want to be in the court, I want official recognition of me owning this planet. I’m now Senator Pirate of the Buccaneer System, hero of the Clone War.

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Just to be clear, Spice is basically space cocaine?
Definately not the consciousness expanding worm poop from Dune.

Unrelated but its fun thinking that Palpatine has a rolidex of people to send when he wants a mission to go pear shaped. Jar Jar and Anakin are his top tier mission fudgers

I think trading Dooku for a bunch of space blow does back up the idea that to the outer rims the republic ain’t shit. If Watto or however it’s spelled didn’t want credits or anything the republic could offer him as a “legitimate” business, then what are the odds that a pirate wants what they can offer?

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Clone Wars never truly stops having bad episodes it’s just the ratio of good stories to bad stories changes over the seasons. season 1 has the highest ratio of bad for sure. but as the team of writers and animators find their groove the show improves in both storytelling and animation quality.

jar jar episodes and droid episodes still tend to be skippable tho. those feel like they’re tuned to the youngest part of the audience therefore aren’t really doing much interesting for anyone above the age of 9

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Although there is one arc toward the end of the show where Ahmed Best returns as Jar Jar that I feel like is part of the “Lucasfilm Owed Ahmed Best A Major Apology Tour” that pairs nicely with Ahmed Best also starring as Jedi Master Kelleran Beq in the Star Wars kids show

Credit to thisuserisalive…

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Woof, this episode’s thesis of “everybody just needs to let America, I mean the Jedi, protect them and also pacifism is stupid” is some real bad trash.

The lemur alien people were really cute though.

That final shot in episode 14, I think, being played for anything other than dread on behalf of the Lurmen makes me laugh.

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The Lurmen having Irish and occasionally Scottish accents gave me real Mass Effect 3 vibes where the member of the ancient precursor race had a Jamaican accent.

the whole Lurmen colonised this system after a few months of war, and otherwise having no apparent space-faring technology is raising a lot of questions for me

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Can’t decide if that episode saying “sometimes torture is necessary” or this one’s “pacifism is foolish and it’s good the kids are siding with this military force who has brought war to your system over their own culture” is worse. I feel like I need to read a chapter of Fanon after every arc as a chaser.

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“Pacifist meerkats”
so the Lurmens don’t look like lemurs to anyone else but me?

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You’re right, they’re definitely lemurs! :monkey_face: Back when the Star Wars website had a big encyclopedia for all of the lore, they called Lurmen a species of lemur-like humanoids.

They’re also one of the cuter animal-ish species in Star Wars, imho.