All I Want is to play Crazy Taxi: Gazillionairre


It’s a bad habit, but I’m kind of addicted to clicker-style games. AdVenture Capitalist, Clicker Heroes, Tap Titans; my elders are yelling “why don’t you get a job” while the youngsters ask me to come out and play, but days go by and I just keep clicking.

So, when a new smash clicker game started making the rounds on Twitter, I had to check it out. I’m talking, of course, about Crazy Taxi: Gazilionairre. Usually when discussing whether a clicker is fun to play or well-written, you gotta keep 'em separated. But this is both one of the best written mobile games I’ve ever come across and a blast to play. Penned by Joystiq original prankster Ludvig Kietzmann, I defy you to find an Android/iPhone game with writing this clever. If you’ve followed Luddie on Twitter at all, you know he considers puns to be the pinnacle of human communication, and he perfectly hit that balance between awkward and, well, too awkward. It’s pretty fly (for a white guy).

The game has you taking over a taxi company that’s been decimated by the game’s Uber stand-in, run by some stupid, dumbsht, gddmn mtherf*cker who makes it clear that he’s coming for you.

You hire cabbies to run routes through out various representations of Americana. Make money, hire more cabbies, make more money, hire more cabbies. Hit that pop-up icon to pick up extra fares or do a trick. All while your crew makes not-so-subtle digs at Silicon Valley-style disruptive capitalism.

Your employees are a fun cast of characters. Some people might look at them and think these kids aren’t all right, or that he or she’s got issues. But I say ixnay on that, hombre. These are good people, with loads of self esteem. As far as they’re concerned, the future is now, and as head of the new taxi company, you’re gonna go far, kid.
I truly, sincerely apologize.

Hey, you’re right, Bilal!

Crazy Taxi: Gazillionairre is a fun game with a killer soundtrack. I need to stop being so jaded. Play Crazy Taxi, and welcome to paradise! (wait, is that right? eh, whatever, I need to stop worrying about all the small things)

The GILM Awards 2017 Favorite Mobile Game

I honestly love it. I usually only stick with clicker style games for a week tops but the fun characters and the stunts have me hooked.


I for one applaud you for the absolutely absurd number of references to Offspring songs you managed to shove in. also I’m pretty sure I knew a guy in school named Bilal and I guess this where he ended up.


Thanks. This post pretty much validated my entire high school aesthetic. Or completely discredited it. One of those.


I don’t understand why you had to hammer head this game into us.

I say it’s time to relax with something to believe in.


I opened it up and it screamed YA YA YA YA YA, so it’s pretty good.

Okay I have now seen a fake ad splash screen for a fake Altered Beast and Knuckles based companies.


Yeah, those fake companies are all pretty solid. Knuckles Sandwiches though is maybe the best.


The writing is what keeps me interested. Beyond that, it’s a great idle game.

My favorite cabbies so far have to be Bernard (and Rose), Sprinkles, and Berry. Berry especially since I’m a (out of work) bartender and I insert Austin Walkers voice for him.

It’s probably my favorite mobile idle game.


Virtua Biters is pretty good, too.


I’m neck deep in this game, perfect for waiting on other games or lunchtime at work. Saved up around​ 750 free diamonds and struggling to decide what to blow them all on.


+1 for the Offspring references, OP


Been playing this for a couple of days, after finishing Spaceplan. Not sure you could get two more different Clickers but wow, this game likes to shout a lot. Good fun.


Have you upgraded your x2 “4 hour bonus” to a x3 or x4 (or more)? If not, that’s pretty helpful. Also, the difference in $/hr between 1-star and 3-star drivers is ENORMOUS, so if you don’t have any 3-stars, you may want to get/rush some tickets.

Granted, at 750 diamonds saved up, you may very well be farther than I am, so maybe this is all obvious to you.


I am probably being dim, but I am not entirely sure what the “Sell Out” button does? It talks about multipliers, but also seems to suggest it ends the game?

I don’t want an Exclamation mark there anymore!


you keep all your drivers but resets all the cars, i’ve got it up to 6x and it takes like 5/10 minutes to get back to where I was with how fast the multipliers stack up


Hmm, ok, just unlocked the 3rd area but it says 6 x multiplier. DILEMMA.

Though if you get back to the level that quickly then maybe there is no real decision here.


Yeah honestly you’ll be back in the third arena in no time, especially as you can reassign your drivers to their favourite cabs and your highest starred driver to the cheapest upgrade slot


How do you do the second bit? Does it not have the cars in a specific order, so therefore you match the driver to that and then hope they are high in stars?


the cars in the first area don’t have a favourite driver assigned to them! so pop your highest starred drivers in them!


Aw man, had no idea! Sweet, decision made, thanks!