BTB #10 - Blightown? More like Bite-Me-Town
Ah, so now I finally actually use this thread how I planned. As more of a journal to make sure these moments in games that make me light up aren’t reliant on my Twitter infested brain.
After tackling the Gargoyles and being able to soak in all that is good in the world I continued on. First I attempted down the Darkroot path, beating this…I don’t know, headless scorpion monster with a pitchfork? Now, the first time I tried going down here I accidentally wandered into the Darkroot Basin which is a WILD part of this game that I was not expecting. Having played the other SoulsBorne games, wandering into an open area where don’t have any paths to follow hurt my brain. That’s not how these games work. You typically see distinct pathways through an area so even when it appears to open up it only serves to let you see more funnels. The Darkroot Basin might have funnels but these cartoonish looking crystal jerks started coming after me. Multiple crystallized Incredible Hulks started jogging at me and FLYING through the air like they were born to do it. First, wide-open field and then agile hulking figurines? THIS IS NOT DARK SOULS PLEASE STOP TRYING TO DO ME LIKE THIS!
I died and decided I wasn’t going to be going that way for sometime. Coming back at it again, I believe I went the “right” way. I definitely got smoked by the boss but I at least got to them. Full transparency I immediately looked up how to kill the thing because I spent five minutes fighting it without having a single clue how to make progress. Sometimes that’s what you have to do though, don’t be too proud to not look up the answers.
Even with the answer I didn’t particularly want to go down that path so I worked backwards. Using a key, getting myself to the lower parts of the Undead Berg. Everywhere I had been looked like a place that’s been dead for a minute, this part of town looked like they were still finishing off burner the damn thing to the ground. Slashing my way through here I get to the Capra Demon, a boss I did and do hate. After dying once I decided that there had to be a MUCH faster way to get this truly rude Minotaur. And I was right! And the shortcut is still painfully long! That’s been my least favorite part of this game, getting back to bosses. I can’t tell if this is one of the reasons that people prefer this to other games in the lineage but I do want to be clear, I think you are wrong. Eventually, after about six times I beat the thing through hard work, dedication and a great gameplan aka I cheesed that son of a gun. The fricker would keep swinging as long as I didn’t go too far up the silly staircase and couldn’t hit me as long as I wasn’t far enough down. TACTICAL GENIUS!
From there, down I went. Deeper into the depths of this world. It wasn’t a painfully hard in THE DEPTHS but the dang place has the oddest layout. I was down there for about an hour killing everything in my path until I realized I didn’t know where I was. Afterwards, I found out I had killed an enemy that actually made the upcoming boss a tad easier. Happy accidents. And that boss? The Gaping Dragon. I’ve probably watched the beginning to this boss dozens of times before this play-through. Its still a good boss cutscene! I laugh my butt off every time. This cute alligator head gives way to a dragon that is shaped like a a very teethy mouth. That’s funny! Great gag every time.
Gaping Dragon is one of the best scaled boss fight From has probably done? Absolute unit but will move in on you. Relatively easy in the scheme of things which I guess goes hand-in-hand with feeling like a rad ass set piece. Can’t be looking all cool and stuff while I also being the most frustrating thing on the planet.
Got my BLIGHTTOWN key and mozied my way on down to this makeshift wooden underworld. After hearing about all the optimization issues of the area, going through without a hiccup felt a tad disappointing. Like I was robbed of the TRUE DARK SOULS EXPERIENCE! Well, the area is still a bit of a pain in the ass. Unlike the rest of the world, feeling like there are places that stack onto one another, Blighttown comes off as a rickety staircase. Makes sense to find multiple bonfires on the way down as I have yet to find a place to bail out. Every other jaunt I had taken around this decayed land had passageways that would lead to other locations I had seen before which allowed me to cut some truly annoying runs through the game down by a good chunk. This town of wood felt so disconnected in comparison. Once I was in, I was IN and I didn’t love that feeling as I noticed halfway down that the only weapon I had bothered to upgrade had been DEEPLY eroded during the Gaping Dragon fight.
You see, the Gaping Dragon has an attack where he spews acid on the floor. I for some reason thought it was a dice roll situation, equipment broke or it didn’t, a bad assumption on my part.
ALSO, the whole trip is a bit annoying. Enemies with toxic blow darts can make sections unbearable. FIRE BREATHING LIL’ DOGGOs?! Who does that? And what even is this thing!!!
So now I’m here, stuck on the poisonous floor of this place with a weapon that’s a few strikes from being useless. This truly is a nightmare.