Chris Pratt Is Mario? Okey Dokey Then

Playing devil’s advocate here. Chris Pratt was good in both lego movies and he’s probably at his best when he’s just being Andy Dwyer.

If I was doing a Mario movie and had settled on Chris Pratt as Mario, it would have to be part animated, part live action. Chris Pratt plays some character in the real world with a couple of mounting personal problems, high pressured corporate job, no joy, a workaholic, loveless relationship etc all the typical problems a generic dude might face in a harmless family comedy.

Somehow he enters the mushroom kingdom (he gets sucked into a haunted SNES) and takes over the body of Mario where he must commit to saving the mushroom kingdom. He’s reluctant at first, letting his adult human tendencies take over, whilst the mushroom kingdom burns. Meanwhile, in the real world, Mario (Charles Martinet) inherits the body of Chris Pratt and does everything you’d expect Mario to do. Running around, jumping and wahooing all over the place, it’s a bit of a disaster at first, wreaking havoc on his work life but because Mario as a brand is a beacon of joy, he ends up making a positive influence on Chris Pratt’s personal life.

Eventually Chris Pratt as Mario eventually realises he has to commit to saving the mushroom kindgom. He learns to be more Mario and saves the day, when he saves the day and defeats Bowser he switches back over to his normal body to find his life has been made better. Like the lego movie, which was basically marketing for Lego as a brand whilst being a great movie, I have to imagine Nintendo want the same for the Mario movie.

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I think Nintendo just watched the House of Gucci trailer and realized the market was cornered on terrible Italian accents. When perfection has already been achieved, why bother?

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I cannot wait to revel in the terrible accents when I see that movie tomorrow. But also, Lady Gaga is just a really good actor, so I’m looking forward to that too.

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