Cleveland Browns Fandom, Horrible Fates, Existential Despair, and Injustice


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This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at

  • Cleveland Browns
  • Horrible Fates
  • Existential Despair
  • Injustice

One of these things is not like the others…


I read it as…

Cleveland Browns Fandom:

  • Horrible Fates
  • Existential Despair
  • Injustice



Those all look like the same thing to me.


Oh I don’t know, injustice seems like the odd one out. There’s an argument to be made that the city that had LeBron James for like 10 seasons shouldn’t whine about a shitty sports team.

Signed, a very bitter Raptors fan.


i’m glad to hear that the new serial sounds interesting, i’m gonna check it out.

without going into too much detail, there was a time in my life where i was arrested for a misdemeanor crime. i went to court, talked to my court appointed lawyer, and was told that if i were to plead not guilty and take my case to trial, there was a good chance i’d walk away completely free of any punishment. the problem was that i’d have to hire my own lawyer and go to court every day for a week. i couldn’t afford the lawyer, and my employers wouldn’t have been cool with me missing work for a week to go fight my case in court. i was forced to accept the court’s gracious plea deal, which stuck me with a slightly lesser misdemeanor charge, over a thousand dollars in fines, a rise in cost of my car insurance, and two years of probation.

my understanding is that this type of thing happens constantly. so many people (mostly people without much money) get dealt with in this fashion. i’m glad serial is shedding some light on the issue.


Sorry Cleveland, you ain’t got anything on Buffalo when it comes to suffering…


Call of Duty is the Patriots of video games.


Just FYI, from minute 68 and to the end (ad-free version) is all sports talk.


The sports talk resonated with me on a damn near molecular level as someone who’s been a Cavs fan for over half my life at this point. After this season I very much had the same thoughts that Patrick touched on in the beginning, where I had to deeply reconsider reconsider my own emotional investment in the NBA to begin with. The past two seasons have basically been one prolonged belly ache, because, like, you knew you weren’t going to win in the end, but you still got to be frustrated at week after week of underperforming. Sports are supposed to be fun, and I just didn’t have fun anymore. As unbelievable as watching them win in 2016 was, and it was bloody incredible, I simply can’t justify the amount of heartache that comes along with it.

This year I’m going to take somewhat of a backseat compared to what I did previously. I’m going to watch more teams, try to get a bit of distance from the action and hopefully get back to having fun watching basketball again. I will probably never not be rooting for the Cavs, like Danielle aluded to that part is simply too deeply ingrained in me, despite having never set foot in northeast Ohio. However, the moment your fandom causes you more emotional hurt than happiness I think it’s a good idea to reevaluate your investment.

For people who are interested in the 50 year long story of misery that is the Cleveland sports teams I can greatly recommend watching the 30 for 30 “Believeland” which goes through every single moment of heartbreak in excruciating detail, including the Drive and the Fumble which Austin touched on, as well as the Browns being moved out of town.

Also, fuck the Warriors.


I’m currently thanking god for you and this comment. I’ve lived in Ohio my entire life, I don’t need to hear about the Cleveland Browns on my favorite podcast.


The Purge… one of those movies where the subtext is just blissfully ignored. It’s not even subtext, the movies couldn’t be more hamfisted in their politics but the takeaway still seems to be “boy that purge sure is cool” because this concept will not go away.

Maybe it’s not that it’s ignored, but more of a result of the movie having it both ways… the stupid obvious message of a horrible thing being bad / but also the power fantasy, and the super hollywood violent revenge gun time. it’s ok that we make these movies about this shitty stupid thing, because they are about how shitty and stupid it is.


I had the same feeling that Austin did with the Eagles. My favorite team won the league this year for the first time in 32 years. It was a very special moment for me and admittedly the whole city. Honestly, it was one of the best moments of my life!

We also have a team like the Patriots in our league, that has won the league every year between 2010 and 2017. Last weekend they played in my city against my team and got absolutely annihilated.
It was glorious!

Also, I would like to know how Austin chose his Premier League team.


The Bills went to four consecutive Super Bowls, and tbh, that’s enough of an accomplishment that I’ve always felt like Buffalo’s miserable attitude about it is a disgrace.

(I am extremely from and still live there)


Wrong. “Injustice” is only one word, while all the others are two words.


as someone who gets the lemonade ad literally every single time without fail i really appreciated the shoutout to it in this episode


It is episodes like this that teach me that sports fandom isn’t built by success, it’s built by defeat. Not just regular defeat, but dramatic, heartbreaking defeat. Fandom is PAIN. It is fundamental, discomforting, misery. Whenever you put emotion into something you can’t control, you have a twisted one-sided relationship. Every fanbase is toxic by definition, and you aren’t really a fan until you’ve been disappointed but stick with it out of sheer fucking stupidity.

I liked the Yankees as a real little kid since they were in the World Series like every year and they were the first sports team I ever paid attention to. (My mom is a monster fan as well.) But like, I don’t think I ever really cared or had real emotion until 2004, when they got crushed by the Red Sox in ALCS after a 3-0 game lead. I went to sleep sad and upset, went to middle school to confront Mets fans gloating, felt like shit, and now Yankees were my lifelong identity.

(I’m still a shitty fairweather fan, but that’s only because I only kinda like baseball, honestly.)

Similarly, I liked the Broncos as a kid, they won two Super Bowls, that was rad. But I didn’t really obsess over them until 2013 when they got slaughtered by the Ravens in overtime the day of my birthday party. I listened sadly on the radio on my way home and that misery fucking night cracked something in my brain that made me a football fan when I never was before. Cut to years later, I’m driving three hours down to Baltimore to watch Case Keenam play three shitty quarters of non-football in the rain just to prove my fandom.


Damn he a lemonade AND he got 75% less sugar and calories?


to austin’s comparison of sports fandom vs film fandom wrt like, hating seeing something be successful (bc we all hate the patriots):

like i definitely do think that there is an element of grumbling about, for example, the big marvel films making so much money when there are lots of indie films that don’t do as well. or even, to get morals involved, films that cast gross actors or whatever that end up being successful

BUT, i do think that the two things function very differently, and like (i think) Patrick said at the beginning of the segment, no one really watches football for the love and beauty of the game, you watch to see your team win, whereas film and other media isn’t a win/lose situation (unless you really do only buy your cinema tickets to watch the $$$ go up). i’ll go see a guillermo del toro film bc i like them, and i am happy when he gets an oscar bc the film was good. i’ll watch the eagles fucking scrape a win with shitty play and still cheer when the time runs out.


When Austin was talking bout his post-Bulls period and leading up to saying his replacement team, as someone born in Sacramento (Austin, you don’t need to know about Sacramento. We had an Oscar award nominated movie about how you don’t need to know about Sacramento.) and in that same period had the persistent occasional thought of “well what about the Kings”, I was repeatedly quietly calling out “Sacramento Kings” and was just so gleefully surprised to find out that was the team of Austin’s brief dalliance.

Now, how can we get Danielle to be a San Jose Sharks fan?

We all need to talk about how creepy that ad is.