DARPA needs YOUR basement for top secret research!

General Discussion Jokes N' Dokes
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Have you ever wanted to host your own Black Mesa incident below your apartment or home?

Well DARPA has your back! Apply now for a chance to create a new and exciting Resonance Cascade!

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If having a resonance cascade in your facility sounds like something you’d like contact DARPA

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You’ve never even THOUGHT of SEEING a resonance cascade, let alone creating one!

Contact DARPA NOW!

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From: DARPA
To: YOU
Subject: Immediate need of temporary SCP facility

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The twist is that you are the SCP and only YOU can see this tweet.

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Those photos they used really just make me want to get home and play CONTROL.

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DARPA is just a Control ARG

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“HUMAN-MADE”

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I guess they were worried some naked mole rats or an ant colony would apply or something.

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Presumably they have an abundance of inhuman spaces and are seeking something to compare them with.

I also appreciate the emphasis on Spaces
of
interest.

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Hey real talk what the fUCK

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also, don’t go into the replies, there’s QAnon folks down there

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Yikes.

So real talk, the reason they are doing this is actually really easily findable.

They’re basically running experiments to see how rescue efforts would be impacted by looking for people in labyrinthian underground spaces like subways, parking decks, tunnels, etc. Basically, they want to study on how to best conduct search and rescue operations during a disaster.

You can totally put your own conspiratorial, ‘they’re gonna put us in FEMA camps’ kind of conspiracy on that, but it really isn’t that big a deal.

Here’s the source:

“DARPA is interested in exploring this domain for researchers to analyze and enhance approaches to improve situational awareness and response times in emergency scenarios,” the Darpa spokesperson continued. “Locations submitted could help the research community identify relevant sites for further field experimentation to accelerate their development of such technologies.”

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Suuuuurrrre.

We all know this is how Third Impact starts. Did Gendo get to you?

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Yeah, my understanding is that a lot of the FEMA/DARPA conspiracy information is actually very public and readily available.

That being said, I cannot believe a government defense research agency is putting out open calls on Twitter

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I’m guessing is ‘Craig’ their new ‘social media guy.’

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Like, even further than that, it’s an open call on twitter with a 48 hour window. Organising a hangout with my friends takes longer than that! I can’t even imagine the kind of mismanagement that causes one of the most overfunded organisations on the planet to need it’s human-made, several city block, multi-story, complex layout underground facility on such a short time frame!

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We must all be prepared for Shave Impact.

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Is this where they’re going to hide all the glitter?

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