For Hanukkah, Nintendo Let You Put Eight Characters in Smash. What were they?

Festival of Fights

a fan-fiction by Waypoint forum user vehemently

You, Reggie, Miyamoto, and Sakurai are hanging out in Peach’s castle. They are eating a nice strawberry cake, and Toad is there. Toad is humming, because he is happy to be eating cake right now. Yoshi isn’t eating because they aren’t hungry! (They ate five apples!) Mario isn’t there because he’s getting a cholesterol profile, and Peach is taking a nap.

Noticing your cup is empty, Reggie says to you “Would you like some more tea?” He turns to Miyamoto and says, “Please pass the tea.”

Miyamoto says, “Of course, Reggie.” But when he reaches for the teapot, he finds it’s not there. “What on earth!”

A deep and spooky voice comes from behind them. “Looking for this?” Standing in the doorway, Dracula is holding their teapot.

“Dracula!” Reggie exclaims, “What are you doing here?”

“Everyone’s got to be somewhere.” Dracula slyly responds, taking a few steps inside. “Besides, you said everyone is here. Why not me?”

Sakurai sights, “He has a point, gentlemen.”

Miyamoto stands up. “What do you want?”

Dracula gestures for Miyamoto to calm down, “Now, now, there is no reason to get up in arms. I’m just here to have a pleasant conversation, and maybe make some arrangements.” He rubs Toad head as he walks around the table (Toad smiles!). “I’ve brought my friends along.” Through the door comes more people! In walks Geno, Krystal from Star Fox, Chibi-Robo, Tom Nook, T-Block from Tetris, Lucca from Chrono Trigger, and the snail from Adventure Island.

“Wow!” shouts Reggie. “Everyone is here!”

“You forgot about us, huh? Well, you’ll remember this…” Dracula reaches into his jacket, beginning to pull something out. Slowly, it is revealed: a candle! All of the guests reveal their candles. “You didn’t invite us over!”

“Over for what?” asks Miyamoto.

“Hanukkah, of course!” Lucca says.

“We were hanging out after temple today,” says Geno, “And we thought ‘wait a second, we didn’t get to see our friends!’ So we decided to swing on over.”

Reggie slaps his forehead. “Of course! I’m sorry, everybody.”

“It’s okay,” says Dracula. “I’m just glad we can make up for it right now!”

Snail doesn’t say anything, but takes out a box of donuts for everyone to share. Chibi-Robo lights the shamash, and since no one brought a menorah, T-Block decided to hold all the candles. Tom Nook gives everyone presents (all sea shells of different colors).

Sakurai blushes and says, “I’m sorry everybody, but since I forgot about Hanukkah, I don’t have any gifts for you all.”

Krystal says, “Don’t worry about it!”

Miyamoto says, “Hmmm… I have an idea! None of you are in Smash, right? How about you join in on the fight?” They all mull over the offer, but decide they are too tired and want to go home instead.

Reggie says, “What if you just pick some new characters? How about one character for each of you, to make up?” They all try to pick characters, but they just can’t think of any!

Dracula points to you, and asks “What do you think? This is our gift to you! What eight characters, one for each night of Hanukkah, would you put in Smash Brothers? They can be from anything, movies, games, you name it! It could even be a real person! It’s up to you, friend! What do you want to put in?”

Well? What do you say?

  1. Kiryu Kazuma
  2. BJ Blazkowicz
  3. PUBG Guy
  4. Geralt of Rivia
  5. Marcus Holloway of Watch Underscore Dogs 2
  6. Spiderman
  7. The Iron Bull
  8. The PlayStation Classic

In no particular order:

  • Cortana

  • That dastardly bastard raccoon from Donut County

  • Mo Salah

  • Scorpion

  • Lego Jar Jar Binks

  • Sadie Adler

  • My first Nintendog

  • Pascal from Nier: Automata


Morgan Yu (PREY)
Agent 47 (HITMAN)
Nika Muratova (Invisible, Inc.)
Lincoln Clay (Mafia III)
Evie Frye (Assassin’s Creed Syndicate)
Billie Lurk (Dishonored)
The Drifter (Hyper Light Drifter)
Rosencrantz/Guildenstern and/or Guildenstern/Rosencrantz (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, Hamlet)


The Kid (Bastion)
Oogami Sakura (Dangan Ronpa)
Hector (Fire Emblem)
Lyn (the same Fire Emblem)
My fursona (I don’t want to fight, just hang out on Smashville or something)
Hella Varal (Friends at the Table)
My FFXIV character (I do want them to fight. As a WHM though. Cane smacks and Holy spam.)
Susie (Deltarune)

Thank you for the Hanukkah gift, Nintendo and vehemently


I don’t have eight, but it’s a goddamn injustice of the highest order if the Dragon of Dojima, The Fourth Chairman of the Tojo Clan, Kazuma Kiryu isn’t one of the eight.

  • 1: geese howard
  • 2 to 7: someone else can pick

Korra (The Legend of Korra)
The Christmas Duck (Gone Home)
Tammie Brown (RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 1 and All-Stars 1)
Mrs. White (Clue, 1985)
Colin Farrell
The Heat Death of the Universe

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  1. Movie Sonic the Hedgehog
  2. Sazabi Zer Ka
  3. Alucard
  4. Alucard from Hellsing just to be confusing
  5. Peridot
  6. Cloud in a dress
  7. Ditto
  8. Norman the Hanukkah Penguin, the magical mensch from the South Pole who travels around the world in his Chevy '77 who gives presents to all good Jewish boys and girls.
  1. Cameron Poe
  2. Castor Troy
  3. Sean Archer after the face swap with Castor Troy
  4. Stanley Goodspeed
  5. Peter Loew
  6. Red Miller
  7. Sailor Ripley
  8. Eddie from Deadfall

Hmm. For some reason, I really only want to leave it to game characters, and those who have at least appeared on a Nintendo system at some point. I don’t want to just dump random things I like because I personally feel like it dilutes the love of gaming history. The annoying thing is a lot of classic Capcom people I would want are already in MVC3, which feels like I’m just poaching off of them. With that in mind…

  1. image

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  1. Tony Hawk
  2. Major Motoko Kusanagi
  3. Martyr Logarius
  4. Bugs Bunny
  5. Gimli
  6. Sawyer (from Lost)
  7. Vince Carter
  8. Liam and Noel Gallagher
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I like imagining Liam and Noel are like a weird crossover between Ice Climbers and Pichu where it’s two characters that work as one but also they will fight and hurt each other.

  1. Master Chief
  2. Arthur Morgan
  3. Ryuji Sakamoto
  4. Zangief
  5. Aegislash
  6. Edward Kenway
  7. The Boss
  8. Rabbid Yoshi

EDIT: I changed the Pokemon, changed the Kenway and reorganized it


Doom Marine
Master Chief
Lara Croft (classic 90s polygonal)
HL2 screaming Headcrab zombie
Fez guy - can turn the entire level around so everyone ends up in the air.
One of the dudes from Mount Your Friends
Pyramid Head

and i don’t know

Stubbs the Zombie.


Also this guy…

He’d be an excellent narrator.



William “Refrigerator” Perry

The Doom Guy

Isaac, from Binding Of


The McElroy Brothers

One (1) JM-6A “Jaegermech” Heavy Class BattleMech

Sagittarius A*

Supper Mario Broth, The Blogger


What would the Mcelroy final smash be? Final Pam drowning an opponent in cans of ground coffee?

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An endless hail of podcasting microphones falls from the sky

  1. Mae Borowski from Night In The Woods (Final smash: Witch dagga!!)
  2. Ezra from Kentucky Route Zero (Final smash: Julian the Giant Bald Eagle)
  3. Totoro from My Neighbor Totoro (Final smash: Cat bus)
  4. Greg from Over the Garden Wall (Final smash: Potatoes & Molasses Marching Band)
  5. Ruby & Sapphire (either tag team or switch back & forth?) from Steven Universe (Final smash: Garnet, obviously)
  6. Papyrus from Undertale (Final smash: Either date night? or spaghetti?)
  7. Bee from Bee and Puppycat (Final smash: Puppycat Laser Beam)
  8. Adora from She-Ra (Final smash: She-Ra)
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