Games of Comfort During Post-Breakup


#1

Hey all, I don’t know if this is something that is wanted to be discussed here but I find a lot of solace in reading through these forums and wanted to see where this would go.

Recently I have been going through a rough break up and I have been trying to just figure out what to do in order to work through it. Art, friends, developing games, playing games, seeing movies. I have been trying everything just to feel better. Swapping between making Bitsy games and playing my cooperative run of Fallout 4 with my friend has been some of the most effective in just enjoying my time.

Do you have any memories with games after a relationship has ended? I’m moreso asking about stories rather than advice (not that it isn’t welcome). Did they help you get through rough times or realize anything new? What was special about that game at that time?


#2

Hey, I’ve been going through a bad breakup for the last few months so I know how you feel. What really helped me was joining an IRL dnd group and an organising a board game group online for every week.

Having something consistent that I can look forward too every week was a big help and getting out to meet new people was aweosme. It’s been 6ish months now and I feel a lot better. Hang in there it does pass. Tabletop sim is what we used for board games, honestly I don’t think it’s any game in particular that will help but having freinds around and things to do to occupy your time.

Also exercise is a big thing that makes me feel better and passes the time. Let me know if you need anyone to talk too :smile:


#3

My last bad breakup was (thankfully) quite a long time ago, so I don’t remember real clearly what games I took refuge in. Looking through the games that came out at that time (Fall 2004), I remember I playing a crap ton of Burnout 3 and doing damn near everything there was to do in Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal. Oh, and I remember my roommates being really into Soul Calibur 2 at the time… though I had already played the crap out of it, so I would just pick the sticks up every once in a while to humble them.

Mostly the games just gave me something to focus on when things got quiet besides imagining what (or who) my ex was doing. There’s no shortage of games out there now that have near endless amounts of stuff to do that’ll keep your mind busy for hundreds of hours, so take your pick.

ETA: having friends around definitely helps. I was pretty fortunate to be living in a dorm with roommates that I actually liked.


#4

I can say from experience that Gone Home is not a good game to go to after a relationship doesn’t work out.

:upside_down_face:


#5

don’t do what I did around 2005 and get sucked into World of Warcraft for five years while drinking about 3/4 of a bottle of whisky a night just a Pro Tip

repeat, do not do that, it is a bad idea


#6

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne’s hard mode was, oddly, a perfect encapsulation and confrontation of the problems I faced with my most recent break up.

Hard mode, in particular, forces you to plan ahead and perfectly execute strategies to defeat the tougher enemies and bosses. Even then, the margin for error is so thin that you’ll occasionally get unlucky and have a boss just wipe you with a lucky crit. While it could be a learning experience that forced you to adjust your methods, sometimes you could come back with exactly the same strategy and find that, if they hadn’t gotten lucky, you would’ve easily won.

That was just the kind of experience I needed, death lurked around every corner as even a random encounter had the capability to kill my character in a single lucky hit. My best laid plans would fall apart because of random occurrence. Every enemy could easily fling me aside while it would take my best to triumph. With that resolve, I would reload and face them again.

Nocturne helped me realize that sometimes things just don’t work out, through no one’s fault. I thought I had the perfect relationship and envisioned a happy life with them beyond the foreseeable future. Maybe it would’ve worked out and maybe it wouldn’t have, what mattered was my ability to figuratively hit the continue prompt and keep trying my best. It helped me realize that I needed to be honest with myself, changing when needed and feeling strong enough to stay myself in other ways.


#7

After the ending of my last relationship, I played through Yoshi’s Woolly World (this was like end of 2015/the start of 2016). The bright, happy, and extremely cheerful world of that game got me through a very tough time in my life. I didn’t expect to clinch so hard to a video game, I was a graduating senior in college, but that game was my relief from the world. It reminded me that even if shit was god awful, there was still happiness out there.

It made me realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may have taken me two years to get back into the dating world, but I give so much credit to that game for making me realize “there’s some cool shit out there. You want to see it and eventually experience it with someone special.”


#8

I have a pretty vivid memory of being up till 6 in the morning in my dorm room and eventually skipping actual classes so that I could fully concentrate on being a student at Yasogami High in Persona 4. That and I watched a looooooot of Star Trek. Like all of The Next Generation. Blanket over my head, tears pooled in my eyes-style.

Those were the days. Also I’ll echo the statement that having something to look forward to every week does help a ton with that.


#9

I had my first bad breakup a few years ago during winter break at college. I’m not going into too much detail, but I was a damn mess. One of my best friends gave me Kentucky Route Zero as a sort of early Christmas/Get Well Soon gift and it pretty much saved my life. The game had the right amount of somber and perseverance that I needed right then. The characters start in a very low, very confused place on their odyssey down the Zero and I could relate. Also the soundtrack was incredible. I’ve always responded really strongly to music, so in this heightened emotional state I was extremely susceptible to it. I found myself wandering around my dorm apartment singing along to the blues standards performed by composer Ben Babbitt in a near-meditative state. When I got to Junebug’s CYOA song in the diner I started sobbing. This song of loss and regret and letting go that I got to tailor to my own experience was powerful. I wanted to desperately to play and replay that segment, but I knew it wouldn’t be the same as the first time. It was a perfect singular healing moment which put me back on my feet and back into the world somewhat. It has been a process since then to get back to being me, but Kentucky Route Zero will always have a place in my heart as the start of that journey.


#10

After my last breakup, I played Kerbal Space Program for a few weeks. It was a remarkably good way to occupy my brain and help me feel more stable and give me a sense of progress.


#11

Now that I think of it, if I hadn’t done a video series on NCAA Football 2003 the autumn after I went through a breakup, I probably would’ve handled it a lot worse. It gave me something to look ahead with, and knowing that there’s no possible end to the game meant that I could feasibly stick to it forever if I needed to. That I think is what I recommend with therapeutic games, try to find something that you can get lost in and get out of once it serves its purpose, preferably something without a definitive ending. I’ve heard like Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing are good for that purpose


#12

Actually created an account to comment on this, as the memory is such a strong and important one for me.

The longest and first relationship of my life disintegrated around the time Night In The Woods came out, and I’ve never had a stronger connection to a game. None of the characters were in my exact situation, but the general vibe of that game was so in line with how I was feeling at the time, and its setting became such an important sanctuary for me. I remember some nights just sitting in Mallard’s Tomb for hours listening to the music. When I finished it, I was compelled to write a massive, embarrassingly gushy letter to the developers that, mercifully, they never replied to.

But yes, can 100% recommend Night In The Woods as a source of comfort to anyone looking for something like that right now. That, and honestly just getting the Firewatch PS4 theme and sitting on the dashboard.


#13

How has nobody said Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy?
Despite the pun, playing that game is actually such a cathartic experience.
Give it a go! :slight_smile:


#14

Farewell time is the worst time for me, and I played the Spider solitaire classic game, it helped me kill time and forget about the pain