J. Jonah Jameson here, and I’ve got a scoop for you. It seems that the MENACE Spider-Man has been particularly active in HARASSING the fine people of New York lately. Take a look at this EXCLUSIVE photo I’ve procured from CONFIDENTIAL sources:
Look at the ANGLE! It’s clear that the Spider has BRAINWASHED our fine air paramedic FIRST RESPONDERS to take the picture to STROKE his massive EGO! This cannot stand! We must track the masked menace’s movements. So I ask you, fellow citizens, get me pictures of Spider-Man!!!
Thank you citizen! It appears the GLORY BOY is moonlighting as a wrestler! I highly doubt he could stand up to the PEOPLE’S CHAMP, Bonesaw! 3 minutes in the cage will result in one SQUISHED Spider!
It appears that the Wallcrawler’s SPIDER EGGS are beginning to hatch! Stay away citizens, lest an errant bite converts you into a ZOMBIE who calls in to defend Spider-Man’s actions!
@trty0: This must be that “trolling” thing the kids are doing that’s days. Well, cowardly hooligan, just know that J. Jonah Jameson is still working to protect UNGRATEFUL DEGENERATES like you from the Spider-Menace, no matter how many groceries or booties you eat.
@Hartnote: I knew it! The Spider suit leaves NOTHING to the imagination. Spider-Man is an EXHIBITIONIST and PORNOGRAPHER, case closed!
