Allow me to present to you a comprehensive informational post on why Shadow The Hedgehog is in fact Good™ Actually™ and in fact the best entry in the Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise
1: Holy Fuck Look At The Animation On Those CGI Cutscenes
Yo what the fuck, there’s so many little movements and shit. Sonic Forces didn’t have one cutscene with animations this good. What the fuck.
2: The Guns Work Perfectly Fine What Is Wrong With Yall
Seriously everyone always goes off on one about how the guns don’t work right or some shit but that’s bollocks, you point in a direction and shit fuckin’ dies, what more do you want a god dman gun to do.
3: It Has More Self Confidence Than You (Probably)
This is a game that never once decides to hold back on it’s bullshit. Shadow’s out here monologueing like he’s in fuckin’ Shakespeare and I’m pretty sure if you asked the manifestation of this Videogame it’d tell you it was the first thing ever to do an “Am I, Or Am I Not, A Robot” Story. It’s probably the first to involve a sequence where you Jack Into TRON style and blow up The Internet though.
4: This Line
5: Some Of The Guns Are Etremely Long And For Some Reason That’s Really Funny To Me
Look at these guns
They’re just so
6: Shadow And Omega Are In A Relationship
"But Fuckwit" I hear you say, “Just because they are consistantly paired throughout the series, are demonstrated to share a deep mutual understanding of each other and in one ending declare themselves leaders of a robot revolution together, doesn’t mean they’re in a relationship!”. To this I answer, wow that was rude what did I ever to do you, but also, the neutral ending theme is them singing a fucking duet.
7: Yo This Soundtrack Kicks Ass
It’s a Stone Cold Banger mates, a Top Tier Belter My Dudes, a Hella Good Jam Pals, a Sick Set Of Beats Old Chums.
Look, here, catch these Killer Tracks Lads
There’s even a fuckin’ techno dance remix of E.G.G.M.A.N how are yall not all OVER this shit
8: This Pose Tails Does When You Finish One Of His Missions
9: You Only Lose 10 Rings When You Get Hit
Why the FUCK doesn’t EVERY SONIC GAME DO THIS like YO this fuckin’ WORKS.
10: It Doesn’t Introduce Anyone, Ever
This game assumes you know literally everyone already. There are like 30 characters, who turn up for like 2 missions total and barely do anything. Imagine getting through to the neutral-hero ending without getting a mission with him in and suddenly being faced with Vector The Fucking Crocodile:
11: The Mission Structure Is Super Good, Actually
I’m a sucker for anything that has you playing through the same spaces but dramatically recontextualising them with different mission objectives. Shadow The Hedgehog is a game built entirely around that, with different missions forcing you to change your pace and explore parts of a level you’d have just glided on by otherwise. There’s something inherantly satisfying about looking the goal ring in the face and just going “nah”, and going streight past it because it’s time for a HEEL TURN BABY.
12: Every Single Combination Of Choices Has A Unique Name in The Library
There are 326 possible ways to go through Shadow The Hedgehog, and every one has an appropriate title tieing your choices together. That’s cool as shit.
13: The 100% Completion Reward Is A Rush Through Hard Mode Versions Of All The Levels With Voice Clips Of All The Characters Offering Support For Your “Training” And Making Dumb Jokes
It’s the best 100% completion reward in any game and I love it.
14: Jason Griffith Is Really Excited That He Can Say The Word "Damn"
15: It’s Pretty Much The Last Sonic Game To Care About The Little Extended Universe It Had Set Up, And Like, That’s A Real Bummer
Man, Adventure Era Sonic had a whole thing going, yeah? Like, Shadow as a character was proof that they were willing to try telling actual stories with some degree of depth, regardless of how well anyone thaught they actually did at it(I reckon they did pretty well all things considered). Shadow had an arc spread across 3 different games, I wanted to see more of that from a series known for having such a vast number of characters. Good characters! Characters worth second looks! But not they feel like they’ve all been shelved until further notice, which bums me out. I miss the Anime Bullshit Sonic the Hedgehog.
16: Okay Fine I’ll Stop Now
It’s good, aight?