Smash Ultimate Political Compass

Different alignments for the two make sense to me. SSB Zelda seems like an amalgam of all Zeldas, like the spirit of the first Zelda that keeps getting reborn. I would say that spirit is way further left and more libertarian than the chart indicates. Her one driving force along with Link is to make sure that there is not an imbalance of power. The whole princess thing is either used to make her an unlikely hero, or ill defined like when she spends her whole life thinking she’s a pirate and then realizes “oh wait I am actually Princess Zelda and I’m already wearing the outfit all of a sudden”. Sheik would be different from Zelda as that’s just one incarnation of Zelda, and they’d be heavily influenced by the Sheikah worldview, but I’m not really sure how that’d work on the chart. The Sheikah say their one thing is protecting the royal family, which seems bootlicky, but in this world the royal family are legit the main thing holding back superfacism, so…it’s unclear. Also if I remember Twilight Princess lore right they may have actually used the “protectors of the royal family” thing as a ruse to usurp power from them? I honestly don’t know how Sheik would differ.

Link generally only works with the monarchy or helps them incidentally. Protecting the monarchy is the Sheikah’s job. Also, you can’t treat this monarchy like other monarchies because this one actually has divine blood. In this world there is a very real reason why these people should be protected. If housing the Queen of England stopped climate change I would be all for it, and Ganon is worse than climate change. And again, Link’s whole thing is making sure no one gets too powerful. I’d also put BOTW link as more libertarian because he’s from an open world game with a story you an tackle in any order.

She isn’t really a princess, she just lives in space and helps stars find food

The biggest question re: Dr. Mario is whether or not the Mushroom Kingdom has free healthcare. I always got pharmabro vibes from him.

And yeah, Ness and Lucas are Antifa. So is Green Inkling.

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Also, if y’all really want act like Donkey Kong isn’t an AnCap I have a 3,000+ word analysis of Donkey Kong Country to refute you

you all think i’m joking

i wish i was joking

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The Heavy Class of Mario Kart racers are so fucking ancap, it’s not even funny.

This thread was locked over night and is now open, see our rationale here. Thanks!

rolls sleeves

i saw k rool as more of an agent of chaos, and…

i saw kong as hoarding for the kong kollective, firmly a left wing endeavour. that said, you pulled up that article and i’ve got a lot of time for that reading.

strong disagree, she’s an orphan with a found family of celestial bodies who’s taken on their guardianship. i’d say firm left-anarchist.

this is a common thing with a lot of nintendo characters, you’ve got to buy into the kinda awful noblesse oblige concept of beneficial monarchy, and you see that mostly with the fire emblem characters. in link’s case though, i think you can read an embodied politics into the various links - one being a pirate, the other being a hero’s-quest-cipher, botw link being a blank slate more than anything concerned about freedom and exploration and maybe some gender transgression

this got covered in the thread, i think i just read the description for the original where fox is much more into just liberating people from the Big Bad lol

now this - i’m quoting from my discussion in the discord: the suit is the material instantiation of her alienation and indoctrination into dominant culture. in the suit she’s a cop. out the suit she’s an unashamed woman, who has to fucking survive without the tools of domination strapped onto her. it links straight into the obfuscation of samus being a woman in the first place.

@ClairvoyantVibes so for this i thought more that he’s got very strict normative ideas of justice and authority. leans right i agree on but this was a vibe thing more.

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oh sheik being far left is basically just my way of saying ‘fuck gender’. not much more.

side note it’s a thing that highlights how awful poltiical compasses are but oh well we’re here now

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They should put Dante from DMC in Smash so we can all argue if he even knows what politics are. Keep in mind he definitely does not know what sex is. Imagine trying to pin a political philosophy on a guy who’s knowledge base is made up entirely of pizza, monster killing, and, oddly enough, Shakespeare.

Oh god imagine if they put in Kazuma Kiryu. That man is a pile of contradictions that make absolutely no sense together.

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Kiryu as the 0,0 on this map makes sense to me, fwiw. Majima, on the other hand…

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i mean this is kinda why i enjoyed trying to put a position on, say, Charizard or Mega Man or Wii Fit trainer because my reasoning was as flimsy as:

  • Charizard is a might-makes-right dick in the anime who isn’t quite strong enough to back his bluster
  • Mega Man is a techno utopian, get in the bin
  • Wii Fit Trainer just really cares about public health, do you know the benefits if we just got a few minutes of exercise a day

The REAL question is: If that roster leak is real, where does Doom Marine fit in? He clearly an anti-corporatist, but does killing demons mean reinforcing the status quot?

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Is Goku a libertarian

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Goku spends a lot of Dragon Ball fighting the Red Ribbon Army, who are partially inspired by the Nazis, so I’d say he’s closer to being anti-fa than to being a libertarian.

i’m starting to think that the compass as a metric is a little flawed. does anyone have a political cube we can use?

Goku literally had no idea who any of them were the entire arc and spends his entire adult hood training and trying to get demi-gods to fight him for fun.

So Goku is an apolitical pro athlete?

Joker is confirmed DLC but I don’t see him on this chart. Discuss.

He’s on the back side, sneaking in.

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He still beats all of them and protects people from them, even after he’s got the Four Star Dragon Ball back.

Kid Goku is pure and good and I won’t stand for someone slandering him by calling him a libertarian.

Bulma and her family on the other hand are definitely icky, given that they’re the richest people on Earth and never seem to give any of that money away. Also everyone in Dragon Ball are monarchists because King Furry is the king in like everything and there’s never a push to bring in democracy.

Ehhhh, I wouldn’t go that far. His heart’s in the right place, he just likes fighting way too much. And he definitely would be better off if someone could convince him to read a book once in a while.