Sports! — Are the Cubs Back?

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This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at

F in the chat for the Blackhawks, who never were back.

1. You can’t just be up there and just doin’ a balk like that.
1a. A balk is when you
1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the
1c. Let me start over
1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can’t do that.
1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can’t be over here and say to the runner, like, “I’m gonna get ya! I’m gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!” and then just be like he didn’t even do that.
1c- b(1). Like, if you’re about to pitch and then don’t pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense?
1c-b(2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it.
1c- b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then there’s the balk you gotta think about.
1c- b(2)-b. Fairuza Balk hasn’t been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn’t typecast as that racist lady in American History X.
1c- b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse.
1c- b(2)-b(ii). “get in mah bellah” – Adam Water, “The Waterboy.” Haha, classic…
1c- b(3). Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of
2. Do not do a balk please.


I learned recently that Jon Bois wrote that, and was both shocked (because I’d thought it was a Reddit joke) and entirely unsurprised.

See this is why test cricket is the perfect spectator sport to watch in person - one game goes from 10am to 6pm, for 5 days. Nothing happens for hours at a time, leaving you free to drink/talk/line up without fear you are missing anything.


I don’t think I’ve ever been less excited for a “playoff” game than Bulls @ Raptors. The vibes are just rancid for both teams, with terrible offenses to boot. There’s no narrative to root for, no beautiful basketball to hope for. Just a bricklaying contest to see who gets to be either bounced on the second play-in game or flattened by the Bucks. Yeesh.

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And yet the game does keep moving because teams and captains get fined heavily if they don’t maintain over rate.

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LaVine and Demar’s daughter saved the team

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sad Bull noises


F in the chat for the :cow:s.