Tell Me About Crappy Roommates


#1

I got a new roommate in my college apartment. He’s been leaving the front door unlocked and leaving the kitchen quite messy and plays music really loud in the morning and it’s annoying me!!

Point is please tell me about your shitty roommates so I know how bad it could truly be


#2

CN: drugs

used to live with a guy who cooked ketamine in our kitchen, that was fun

it was a shit house too: my “bedroom”, right next to the kitchen, was actually a converted living room, with no windows or ventilation (aren’t landlords such inventive people). it had french doors into an extension which functioned as a new living room, where this lad used to do all kinds of shit with his friends. to their credit i cannot remember any of them being awful people but it still wasn’t pleasant to live with. ended up moving back home 3 months into the tenancy lol.


#3

Used to live with a dude who grew in his closet–his mom would come over and take care of the plants for him… There was a lot of Creed blasting from his room. Also stoner metal.

Edit–I forgot the bad parts (Creed could be ironically good and Sleep is lit, so you could interpret that as something good?). Two other people who never cleaned up shared spaces in a timely manner or well at all. My fridge space was on the bottom shelf and at one point salmon juice dripped all over my freshly-purchased groceries. Love them both to this day, but boy did it suck being OCD living with people who were very messy. I was super passive aggressive and probably a horrible housemate. Word of advice–don’t do that. Be direct, assertive, and kind. Accept that some people’s lifestyles are not going to mesh with you. Own that and don’t stress about it too much.


#4

had a roommate who [cw: nasty as hell] j’d o into a washcloth (???) without washing it (???) and left it next to his computer chair when he wasnt using it (???) and I found out about this because he came home one day to find it covered in hundreds of fucking ants

he also puked on his bed from drinking too much and would just flip the mattress and go back to bed


#5

I live in the UK. I once had a flatmate who asked me when we first met if it was true that Prince William was losing his hair because of all the chemicals in the drinking water. Two months later, I realised he was boiling all his water.

He also sang power ballads out of tune at 2am and used the kitchen sink to soak mushrooms all day. Not the worst flatmate to have but not really the best person to live with either.


#6

I was the worst, messiest, most drunk roommate in college and J----- I would like to apologize once again I can’t believe you re-upped for a 2nd year.


#7

This roommate seems like a lot:


#8

I lived with a guy who blasted metal from 5am to 10pm everyday, and (warning: gross) left all his wank tissues under his bed when he moved out. Months worth Somehow he was popular with women, despite being a turd about them (to me, also a woman) behind their backs.

Edit: I remembered some bad roommate stories friends have told me: one who tried to set the neighbour’s house on fire “as a joke”, and another who (CW: body fluids, decay) washed once every few months, never washed his clothes (so she could smell him from a different floor of the house), and wiped his arse on towels. Including hers.


#9

Hey Yall,

I’ve had my own share of bad roommates stories, just be sure to CW everything, even if you’re spoiling it out as well.


#10

My roommate and I had a suite mate freshman year of college who was a nightmare.

CW: Gross

The guy would do mandscaping on the toilet and not clean up after himself. Felt the best time to call someone was when he was using the bathroom and talk really loudly while making comments to the person on the other end how that act of nature was going for them. Refused to help clean the bathroom but always came to us when he needed help with his computer. Threw his garbage away in the stairwell even though the RA’s asked him multiple times to stop doing that because they have cameras and can see it is him. He also liked to throw parties in his dorm room and smoke a lot of pot and just get wasted in general which fine you do you but please not at 3am on a Monday.

It all reached a climax during finals week when they were next door partying till 2am my roommate decided enough was enough and called the residents hall and complained which led to an RA and campus security guard knocking on their door and getting kicked out when they came across the bottles of beer and an in use bong.


#11
  • The roommate that didn’t speak to me for 8 months that I lived in the same house as him (he would literally just pretend I wasn’t there, even if I was standing right there talking to him) and would only communicate with passive aggressive notes on a whiteboard in the kitchen.
  • The roommate that came home one day with two cats despite A) not talking to the other roommates B) me being allergic to cats C) him knowing in two weeks he was going to have to leave on internship for a few months D) one of them was a stray and one of them was abused, both cats that were going to need to dedicate extensive amount of time to and E) that he was working and going to school and couldn’t take care of them.
  • The roommate who was a dipshit college-aged “owner” of a house I was staying at (his parents owned it). Refused to do any repairs to the house (which lead to a lot of water damage, mold buildup, not working appliances, and general damage to the house). Threw house parties unnanounced. Threw house parties during finals. Threw house parties where shit got stolen (so keep your shit in your room basically).
    *The roommate that was a white racist, homophobic PoS that would routinely use the N word and punched holes in the walls because he was hella masculine bro.
  • The roommate that would be all smiles and nice to someone then two months later blow up at them for doing x or not doing y because he didn’t know how to discuss anything in the house that was bothering him in a healthy manner.
  • The roommate that tried to call the cops on me because I wouldn’t let them use the only driveway spot in the townhouse we were at for the winter (the spot was being used by my vehicle that wasn’t working at the time and I was paying extra for the spot)
  • Me, when I had to live with any of the above people. It’s not healthy or moral, but I will be the nightmare roommate right back at them if all other avenues are exhausted.

#12

cw: gross

Came back to an overflowing, clogged toilet on Christmas after being gone for a few days (Christmas was especially stressful for me also) one year. It had been like that for about 2 days. The bathroom reeked for the rest of the time that I lived there.


#13

Had a roomie one time who was affable and gregarious and a little wacky in our presence, but then when he was in his room would talk at like an above average volume from his conversational volume (which was already loud) in a way that my then-partner and I could hear from our room immediately adjacent talking sh!t about everyone in the house and the friends we’d bring over and just about any and everything, just absolutely being a cruel contemptuous dick that was like incredulous of why we did literally any little thing that we did, it was horrible he said so many trash things about people I loved very dearly at the time…but he waited until he moved places with the lot of us to start doing this so he like kept it under wraps long enough to get his name on the lease for the new place we all got together.

I confronted him about it twice to my recollection (could’ve been more but I could believe I got sick of it after twice, other roomies also had talks with him that went about the same) where he basically said he has this “other voice” that he doesn’t know he’s speaking with and doesn’t remember anything they say afterwards, like he was compartmentalizing all these feelings so hard he didn’t even want to admit he had them when someone exposed them to him it was so bizarre (at the most charitable view, anyway, I’m of the opinion he knew full well and was just using our radical political stances about mental health issues to nip criticism in the bud).

The most succinct example I can think of of this is when he came home, my partner said something I can’t even remember that was a bit snippy bc she was in a Mood and he just turned on his heel and marched into the kitchen and said REALLY loud, “B!TCH!” and she like chased him in to confront him and he was like “I didn’t say that! I don’t remember that at all!” and it was like maybe the least offensive he’d ever been with that b.s.

He’s now written a book that gets a lot of accolades from Canadian punks that he wrote a huge chunk of while living with us in our crappy run-down slumlord-run punk house…and the worst part is? It’s actually good, which is infuriating bc I want to hate it but it’s amazing.


#14

My roommate is actually a really nice guy but snores impossibly loud, rarely bathes/brushes his teeth, never does laundry, and leaves his clothes all over the floor.


#15

CW: minor drugs stuff and (consensual) sex, I will blur the sex stuff so nobody has to see it by accident

My first roommate in college, which was an art school, was the epitome of the filthy hippie stoner stereotype, and was so stoned at all times that it was almost impossible to hold a conversation with him. He would fall asleep every night with the same dvd of the first season of aqua teen hunger force playing on his laptop, and eventually it would go through all the episodes and just sit at the menu screen looping the same music and sounds until I had to get up and close his laptop. To this day I cannot see or hear aqua teen hunger force without instantly becoming irrationally angry lol.

After a while he got a girlfriend or found a hippie commune or some shit and stopped coming back to the room most days, which was great except for I never knew when he would show up so it was never safe for my girlfriend at the time and I to do anything more than make out, since he had a knack for somehow showing up as soon as the clothes came off. When he did come back, usually because his clothes had gotten too crusty after not changing them for literally a week, he always managed to leave the room in worse shape than when he got there. One time I came back from class to find he had spread dirt all over his half of the room and his windowsill (bear in mind the dorms on our floor were carpeted!) and I had to borrow the janitor’s vacuum to clean it all up. Another time, he came in and suddenly there were fleas jumping off him and onto my bed and clothes. Luckily they left with him.

Another time, he came back to the room specifically to fuck his girlfriend (who was famed around campus as the girl who sold weed that she kept stored inside a giant, hollowed out dildo) and just left the doors open?? So I walked in and had THAT burned into my eyeballs, and so did our neighbor who just wanted to use the bathroom, which was shared between our two adjacent rooms. Finally, he once walked in in the middle of the night when my girlfriend and I were having sex, and just immediately went to sleep without saying anything or giving us time or space to get dressed and uh, extricate… ourselves from each other. So my gf and I just had to do our best to, extricate, under the covers, sleep in the nude without being able to clean ourselves up, and wait for him to leave in the morning. Both of us were shy people and were too embarrassed and mortified by this situation to ask him to leave, but he was such a heavy sleeper (perhaps due to all the weed?) that I doubt we could have woken him up anyway. The next day I find a packet of lube under my pillow, clearly placed there by him. Needless to say I complained to the RA’s about this, but nothing was ever done about it. Luckily he left to live off campus after the first semester and my replacement roommate was actually a really great guy who I’m still friends with now. But damn that guy was a real grade-A dipshit.


#16

Had a roommate who would crack eggs on the counter and then just leave whatever egg spilled out on the counter. Rotten fruit in drawers. Only listened to Jack White. She was the worst. We had rats.


#17

Jeez, I thought the one roommate that ate my cheese was bad.
And I mean, just straight up ate a block of cheese. Left a small corner with clear teeth marks. I was pretty dang annoyed because I didn’t even get a chance to use any before he ate it all.
That was kind of the cherry on the top of him eating our food.

After we all moved out he talked shit about me and the other roommate to some mutual friends.
Years later I told them my side of the story when they told me what he said.


#18

Ugh, the boyfriend and I currently live with his best friend from high school, who’s pretty odd. It’s a whole situation and way too much to get into, but here are a few highlights:

  • Gets mad if we leave anything plugged into the wall while we’re not using it and unplugs everything.
  • Insists on leaving the Britta pitcher on the kitchen table at all times, because cold water can “shock your system.” We stopped using it because we wanted cold water, and since then a green scuzz has started growing at the bottom of the pitcher, which she still drinks from and doesn’t clean.
  • Moved everything of ours in the kitchen into one cabinet
  • Claimed half the living room by setting up a crafting/costuming station which she never uses and lined one wall with old liquor boxes full of manga/fabric/etc (she’s also a minor hoarder).
  • Consistently moves anything we leave in the kitchen/living room into our office/bedroom, asking if we “forgot it.”
  • Sets up massive jigsaw puzzles on the kitchen table for weeks at a time, meaning no one can use the table for anything else during that time.
  • Inserts herself into social situations when we have friends over, asking weirdly personal questions to people she doesn’t know and trying to look at their phones (no, I don’t understand this either). At least two of our friends have refused to come back after this.
  • Camps out on the couch watching Netflix approximately 90% of the time she’s not at work. We even got her a small TV and a Roku stick for her room to encourage her to spend more time in there, and we’re not sure if she’s ever used it.
  • Will follow my boyfriend around trying to gossip with him, or just dancing in front of him for attention. This includes blocking doorways and sitting on our bed while we’re obviously trying to do something else.
  • Only washes dishes with water.
  • Leaves tiny portions of food scattered throughout the fridge in tupperwares. This would be fine, except that she’s forgotten about them on multiple occasions, they’ve gone bad, and we’ve had to dig through the refrigerator, examining everything to figure out why the kitchen smells like a trash island.
  • Has helped us clean the apartment exactly once in the three years we’ve been there. Mysteriously disappears on trash day and refuses to take the trash/recycling out. When her trash is full she either puts it in the big kitchen trash, or if that’s full, props the bag against the back door, which only we use.

I honestly do feel bad for her, because she obviously has issues, but three years of this has seriously damaged my ability to sympathize. Happily, she got her first boyfriend a few months ago (this is its own disaster, but I won’t get into that) and they’re starting to look at apartments together, so hopefully she’ll be gone soon! The boyfriend and I both make more than we did when we got the place, so we can afford it by ourselves now, and we can turn her room into exercise space or something.


#19

It was more like all three of my roomates. We all moved into the duplex at once, I had a mini-fridge for my stuff and only planned to use the kitchen to cook things id buy the ingredients for on the same day. I did not get to do that because they started just dumping half finished bowls of food in the sink, with the drain plugged, where we didn’t have garbage disposal anyways. And they never cleaned it up, I refused to touch it, it was not my mess, I just decided to avoid the kitchen forever. By the time they were forced by the landlord to take care of it, there was a layer of fungus on top of the water in the sink and several dead mice floating in it, the whole place was coated in gnats.

The roomate who lived on the top floor with me, who I shared a shower with, never cleaned his hair out of the drain. I got sick of getting it up myself, I do that shit at work all day I’m not doing it at home too, I thought. I stopped using that shower and used the one downstairs. He just let it get worse and worse. He would let the shower get full while he was in it cuz his hair was cloggin the drain, and then just let it sit. It also had a solid layer of fungus and filth on it and we were forced to bleach and scrape the entire thing to get our security deposit back, he did not help. I stole shit out of that fuckers room constantly. He can eat shit.


#20

I implore you, PLEASE tell me how old everyone was