The Great Waypoint Milkshake Thread


#1

Now that my favorite diner has stopped serving them, I’m back to the task of making my own milkshakes whenever that craving appears.

Turns out I can make a mean banana milkshake and not much else so I’m coming to you all. Waypointers, enlighten to your any possible past in the milkshake sciences. Throw out how I may venture forth back into this world with your recipes, tricks, blender recs, the grand secret to making a consistently thick milkshake that is still reasonably drinkable without a big chunk of ice cream pouring right into your face. And someone please, please, dissuade me from my ventures into using sunflower seed butter as a bonding agent to get a smooth but not runny milkshake.

AKA: Chat about milkshakes.


#2

I dont have any hot milkshake tips but good god do i love a standard, vanilla milkshake.


#3

And this is where the various nut butter bonding experiments come in.

A vanilla milkshake kicks butt but making it in a blender has at least lately for me led to either two things A: The ice cream and milk don’t really mix so I have a long tall glass of ice cream chunk surrounded by milk B: They do mix but it’s because the ice cream has melted so really I’m closer to drinking cold vanilla flavored milk.

the nut butters were an idea to put some thickness to that mix and I still have to keep trying to see if I’m onto something and also I need to get over the thought of what the hell am I doing everytime I do it.

“The nut butters though?” you say. Yeah, but previously I’d made the triumphant discovery of all the good you can get out of putting granola and spinach in a smoothie. This is not the the smoothie thread.


#4

Malt powder is a straight upgrade to almost all milkshakes

failing that, grind some peppermints up in there


#5

I’m a big fan of the thick shake. Milkshakes are fine and all but if I’m gonna inhale that many calories I want to feel like complete dogshit afterwards.


#6

Go thick or go home.


#7

Gonna draw a line in the sand here and say that the so-called “freak shake” can fuck off. I should not need a spoon to consume your shake.


#8

The ideal milkshake thickness is too thick to be consumed through a straw until after it’s melted a little bit, don’t @ me


#9

The ideal milkshake is the second milkshake poured and scooped out from the steel cup of leftover milkshake that came with the first milkshake.


#10

Also gonna say the banana milkshake is disease whose only cure is violent death. Bananas are for smoothies. Different family of blended drink, different quality of product.


#11

Cracks knuckles and neck against each other.

Let’s take this outside.


#12

I will not countenance unprocessed foodstuffs in my milk shake and especially not the beige, floury tree-potato known as the banana.


#13

please show some Respect to the noble banana, as a thickener, as a friend, as a compatriot in these dark and troubled times


#14

What are the good tips for milkshake making? Where should I start? What do I need?

I love me a chocolate milkshake, you see…


#15

Often the thickness of a good milkshake is not the density of the ingredients but rather that you’re obtaining the optimal temperature and aeration in order for the milk fats to do their thing. Are you blending everything relatively cold? Most milkshake machines are constantly low temp freezing/moving a base that’s similar to ice cream, so in order to recreate at home, you sort of need to make the milk and ice cream reach a middle temp between the two and thoroughly mix/aerate (I would suggest an aerate setting on blend, then hand stirring) in order to get that proper pourability. ALSO, make sure you’re using really good ice cream and really high fat milk. You cannot do 2% on this nonsense. A lot of ice cream also relies on fillers and such, which will also ruin this.


#16

Not to be “that guy” but… if you’re actually serious about your milkshake game that you’re going to be making them at home often enough, a decent milkshake mixer is like $40 or so. Sure you can go bananas and buy some $500 contraption designed for a diner that will survive no less than 3 nuclear fallouts, but you don’t need that kind of longevity. Having used one as a waiter, they do the trick better than anything else, they pulverize hard ice cream with a bare minimum of milk so you can make that bastard as thick as you’d like. You’re not going to get any chunks unless you’re lazy about it.

As for recipes and technique, honestly just start with a vanilla base and add flavors from there. I don’t like getting milkshakes out at ice cream places because they just scoop they’re flavored hard ice cream in, which is fine for something that’s perfectly consistent like chocolate or vanilla, but once you start getting solid chunks of stuff like peanuts or cookies the whole thing goes out the window. If you can’t reduce the flavoring to a liquid or paste, don’t use it.

A personal favorite of mine, although some here will call this a smoothie, is a vanilla milkshake with a banana, a little bit of strawberry syrup, and some peanut butter.


#17

My grandmother owned an ice cream parlor when I was a kid (yes this was as amazing as it sounds), so I grew up drinking some pretty bomb milkshakes. I wish I had some some secret knowledge to share, but it’s mostly just standard stuff; vanilla extract is a must for vanilla shakes, and my personal favorite is a vanilla shake with a tiny bit of chocolate ice cream or chocolate syrup (just barely enough to turn it off-white).


#18

Black & White is the best flavor of milkshake.


#19

I used to make milkshakes. For some reason I’ve kinda forgotten about them over the last 10 years. Now I’m no pro but I just used a regular immersion blender and that got me what I needed. Damn, I really want one now!


#20

There’s only one place where I trust to make a milkshake right. I love to take my steady there after the dance!