I have found a point of view that allows me to play Shadow of War, and I encourage anyone who is struggling with the really troubling subject matter to consider adopting it.
Imagine that you are in an alternate reality where the Tolkien mythos were written from the evil point of view. Melkor was a deeply creative guy, totally stifled by Eru and the other Ainur. He and a bunch of the Noldor went over to Middle-earth to do their own thing, and yeah the elves ended up being a little gross looking but what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own spawning pit is their own business.
Down through the ages, whenever someone finally set up a really rad volcano or made a really big dragon, some elf lord would come along and topple or slay it, and if that failed a host of angels would do it for them.
Today even the last bastion of culture, Mordor, is just a wasteland with orcs struggling to farm enough mud to live. There are whispers that Sauron is returning, and this time he’s going to take back everything that has been lost.
Shadow of War is the “Grendel” from that alternate universe.