The Sonic the Hedgehog trailer is upon us

Huh.

I mean I don’t know what I was thinking or expecting, but I don’t think it was that.

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If it were to be revealed that this trailer is actually a “prank” and a real trailer would be released later I would believe it. So odd.

Edit: I am legit bummed that Jim Carey does not have an exaggerated round belly and odd accent a la the old cartoons.

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So Sonic is basically Quicksilver?

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Outside of Sonic’s design…This feels… safe? Like the safest Sonic movie they could have made?

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I have no nostalgic ties to Sonic but it bums me out to see it come out like this, the premise and presentation itself seems incredibly bland, but the poor re-design of Sonic throws a spanner in even that.

Sonic fans need a break.

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I’m just not sure why Gangster’s Paradise is the song for this trailer. I mean it’s goofy and I love it, but it still feels odd

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As someone who wasn’t completely put off by Sonic’s design I wanted to give this movie the benefit of a doubt but … OOOF.

For a good bit of the trailer I legitimately thought that they might have been trying to play the self aware angle and just went as wacky as possible, but then it just kind of veers into being bad. This manifests the most in the inclusion of Gangsta’s Paradise, which like plays throughout the entire trailer and literally never pays of either sonically (heh) or thematically.

It seems like the design bible was just the sentence “Sonic is bad,” which some would argue is fair, but still …

Also, I was legitimately distressed by how they seemed to play up the idea that Sonic’s hair is electric? Like … what?

Edit: I just realized

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The eyes, man. They ain’t right.

I was honestly confused as to how Sonic could be adapted into a movie, but this looks to be at least slightly aware of its own ridiculousness. Based purely on the trailers, I’ll enjoy it more than Detective Pikachu, which seems to be trying to take the creepy CGI seriously.

I didn’t think the thing that would baffle me most about this was the song they chose to put it to, but here we are. They didn’t even do a bad/cheaper cover of it they, someone said we need the real Gangsta’s Paradise for our Sonic The Hedgehog teaser trailer.

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My body can only physically handle AT MOST one live-action adaptation of a popular video game franchise with a strangely fuzzy CGI protagonist this year.

This ain’t it.

P.S. I’m very glad I’m not the only one who was completely thrown off by the use of Gangsta’s Paradise for this trailer.

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James Marsden: Phew, I’m sure glad I rebuilt my career by landing a role in a prestige HBO series!

Agent: Hey Paramount needs a leading man for the Sonic movie. The script looks real…real bad.

JM:

Agent: Okay fine I’ll see how much they’ll pay.

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I don’t really think Marsden needs to rebuild his career, I’m sure that dude is still cashing Xmen checks every week because FX seems to replay those movies constantly.

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At first I thought the inclusion of Gangsta’s Paradise was indicative of the early 90s, a time in which Sonic flourished as part of the cultural zeitgeist, the cooler and edgier alternative video game mascot to Mario. Then I googled. The first Sonic game came out in 1991. Gangsta’s Paradise came out 1995. So I really don’t know!

The very least we can expect is that Jim Carrey hams it up as Doctor Robotnik. I flatly refuse to call him Eggman.

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We jest, but who here’s seeing it day one regardless?

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As a man who needs to both secure a babysitter and convince a wife to use babysitting time on any movie, there is a zero percent chance I see this in theaters. This is, at best, a watch on Netflix while I’m playing a game movie.

Unless it got pushed back a bit (the trailer doesn’t seem to have a specific date but I’ve seen posters that do) it comes out on my birthday so …

Eggman is gonna be the best part of this movie by miles(no pun intended) and I am SO excited. THOSE SONIC 06 LOOKIN’ MACHINES YO, THIS IS MY SHIT.

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Extremely not seeing this. Probably ever. But I’m gonna enjoy reading ppl’s takes/dunks once the film is out.

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Somehow despite the… bizarre song choice here, the trailer actually makes me want to see it more? It’s 100% Jim Carrey’s fault.

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