Things Neurotypical People Do That Annoy You


#1

[CW: Ableism, Bullying]
Recently came across this “very good” tweet: https://mobile.twitter.com/winningprotocol/status/1034233626336980992

For fairly obvious reasons, I found this pretty infuriating as an autistic person. As a lot of people are pointing out in the comments, there are neuroatypical people who don’t engage in small talk, not out of arrogance, but a very real sense of anxiety. I can speak from personal experience of being singled out for torment either because I was quiet, or didn’t know how to “properly” express myself as a child. I just wish NT people would understand this before mouthing off about “weirdos.”

So, my neuroatypical peeps, do you have any similar stories of ignorant people getting stuff wrong, or just grinding your gears and, maybe, any advice for people looking to do better? Post it here.

And, of course, don’t feel obligated to speak up if you don’t wish to, this stuff can be hard to talk about after all.


#2

So this is kinda off the back of that tweet: NTs who think that loud environments are fine as long as no one has a visible hearing aid on. This often comes with people “joking” that you’re “spacing out” when in company or are insufficiently attentive when you’re in an environment where you literally can’t understand the sounds you’re hearing and are totally overloaded trying to even capture fragments of sentences or ensure you can see lips to lipread through it (hint: if you’re talking to someone and they’re looking intently at your face but below your eye-line then don’t turn away or bring your hand up in front of your mouth while talking).

And then we pivot the social to the workplace and open plan offices. “Oh I love a bit of a buzz while at work, a sense of activity”. “In a situation like that, where collaboration IS your job and there isn’t anything else, I could believe that a larger space would work. I often feel awkward pair programming in a space that is otherwise quiet, but if it’s already buzzing (& I’m not working alone), no problem.”

This is an office environment that simply doesn’t work for some people. When your job is collaborative and yet you’re pushed into a space where you both cannot hear someone talking to you and are constantly overwhelmed by the sensory overload, it is almost impossible to be productive.


#3

I’ve only thought about it a little, but this might be why really overwhelming, atmosphere HEAVY, music and film work so well on me. Listening to weird psych, or intense noise, or watching a film like Eraserhead, is like riding an actual high and I’m legit prone to tearing up.


#4

Insisting that exercise is a total replacement for antidepressants/trying to pin my depression on one particular event in the past as if explaining its backstory is going to make it disappear

pretty sure it’s my brain chemicals but thanks anyway, mom


#5

Thinking they know you better than you know yourself.


#6

Yup.
My dad (and a few other people) just tell me my depression and anxiety are all “in my head”.
Which uh. Yeah. That’s… genuinely the problem??


#7

OP I totally get where you are coming from. However, I don’t read this tweet as about people who are quiet or otherwise don’t like small talk; I think it’s about people who (often in dating profiles) make a point to announce that they don’t like ‘small talk’ and instead want to discuss bigger, ‘more important’ and ‘thoughtful’ subjects because small talk is ‘petty’ and they want the reader/listener to know they are too smart or curious or exciting or whatever to ‘waste time’ with that. I don’t want to derail the conversation - this is a worthwhile thread subject! - but I just read the tweet differently and thought I’d say something.


#8

This is mostly due to the kinds of neurodivergent conditions I live with, but the things that I have to deal with the most from neurotypical people is them giving really condescending advice. Like, I know it can be well meaning, but it comes off as extremely ignorant.

I think what’s worse though is people who believe they know what kind of treatment is needed for your conditions. I think this is more of a systemic issue with neurotypical telling people dealing with depression/anxiety/etc. just need to eat healthier or meditate or make a schedule instead of taking their medication. (This is a major part of Scientology, also, haha, fun). It makes me fucking furious and the majority of people who complain about pharmaceuticals are people don’t deal with any chronic mental or physical illnesses. To clarify: Big Pharma can fuck right off right off right off fuck right off. I also need medication to not suffer constantly. hhhhhhhh

Also, pretty much anything when they act like your condition is something being “done to them”, e.g. I once mentioned that something was an emotional trigger and they said “Well, that’s not my problem.” Also I once was sharing my experience of social anxiety and someone said “That’s kind of creepy” wow okay sorry my experience of mental illness creeps you out jfc