Those Dragons Sure Are Ageing (Dragon Age Megathread)


You should play that as soon as possible, if only to turn your anger at racist, hot dobby from cold indifference to white hot rage. I can’t believe I have to wait another 3 years to kill him.


Kind of a funny thing about me and The Egg is that pretty early on I decided I didn’t like him much and just… stopped talking to him entirely. So I ended up never really finding out just how big of a dumpster fire he is. i think that’s probably actually why I never did finish the DLC, it’s really hard to play a whole thing when it’s about a character that I just didn’t care about.


Wait, there’s a way to play through a Bioware game without completely exhausting every dialog tree available to me? What is this sorcery?!


Yeah about the Eggboy I didn’t even realize how bad he was because I just considered him to be incredibly boring and pretty much left him out of my party completely as soon as Dorian joined up. I was also playing a Male Dwarf so I could never have even seen the final romance scene even if I wanted to.

It’s really funny because the first conversation I had with him all he did was just rude and contradictory and I just blew him off with a “well I hadn’t thought about that before” and basically never talked to him again. Turns out he’s hella important.


Solas’ first conversation is neat b/c he’s like “here learn about the fade” and my dwarven ass is here like "what the fuck are you talking about?*

Anyway, I specc’d Vivienne to be a better mage than he is in terms of offence, but she’s got her own batch of problems, considering her whole “the circles should have just protested non-violently” and shit. She’s got such a solid aesthetic and attitude, but all her opinions about the world are privileged as fuck. Dorian also has issues, b/c he keeps trying to awkwardly apologize for the Tevinter Imperium which is just… Dorian. Honey. No.


DA:I was my first Dragon Age, and my human lady Inquisitor always treated Solas friendly enough but at a distance. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I never felt super comfortable having him around.

Then Tresspasser happened and she was very, very ready to double dagger the egg.


I kept talking to him because I found the fade interesting and his relationship to spirits was cool. But then he goes into the whole “The wood elves are don’t know their history” thing and I started to like him less and less. Once I realized that what he was, I fucking hated him with the fire of a nova.

Like don’t tell me and other elves what our heritage is because you were asleep for thousands of years, you stupid dobby ass egg boy. No one gives a shit about how things were in your day because that was way to long ago and we live in the now, you racist trash pile. You wake up after all this time and are like “Man, those elves are repressed and I’m a whole entire god of the elves. But they are all way to basic for my egg boy ways, so I’m gunna go off and be a diva with my Orb.”

Like so many people died for no good reason. He could have been a cool liberator of elven slaves, but nope. He has to be a stupid magic genocide hippy wanting to bring back “the natural world”.


I played a qunari inquisitor and I already didn’t like solas before his little ‘you’re nothing like the rest of your awful savage backwards race’ conversation.


The fact that the Land Of Dragon Age is called “THEDAS” which stands for “The Dragon Age Setting” because they never came up with a better name is still very funny


My life has been improved by this knowledge.


Why isn’t no-one an option?

DA:I brings out the worst completionist tendencies in me. Cleaning out the map and finishing every quest, finding every resource is just something I can’t stop myself doing. If only I could find a way to apply that effort to my real life instead.


So instead of giving in to my worst instincts and trying to do a full series run, I ended up spending a few hours with the Dragon Age Keep site on one tab and the wiki on another. It was more than enough to sate my replay desire and reminded me of all the “gimmicks” that the series tried. Like how DA:O was about having unique opening quests, DA 2 was about the passage of time, and DA:I was about leadership with all the Skyhold stuff.

I finished DA:I, but I remember rushing the end, so I might give that one another go. I also never got the DLC, so maybe as I approach the end the Christmas sales will be up and I can pick them up for cheap.


Because I play fantasy games like Dragon Age to get away from my real-life issues…

(long, sad, sigh)


So I started a new playthrough (Qunari mage) after realizing mages get some of the best tools and tactics in this game, and I’m gonna play two playthroughs semi-simultaneously, and tbh? I didn’t play much of DA2, but can we all agree it’s literally a crime that you can’t romance Varric?

EDIT: I forgot! DA:O is also worth playing because it gives you a dog, which DA:I doesn’t. absolute failure on Bioware’s part tbh.


I don’t want to hijack the conversation or anything, but after reading all this Dragon Age stuff, I finally decided to give Andromeda a go. I was royally pissed about the ending to ME3, and that whole fucking cop-out of a game in general (a clone of the rachni queen, are you kidding me?! - sorry, not hijacking!), and with the bad reviews I happily passed on Andromeda.

But it’s…fun? Like, really fun? The combat is way more dynamic than 3. The voice acting is typical BioWare high quality. The dynamic conversation camera is bad, but it’s not too distracting. And so far, the story is way more low-stakes than the original trilogy, but I’m fine with that.

Anyway, if this thread got your BioWare jones going and you skipped ME:A like I did, it’s worth a shot (and usually on sale for, like, less than $10).


Barkspawn was a fucking treasure. Best party member imo.


I don’t think I ever realized just how obnoxiously centrist Origins take on, what is, for all intents and purposes, “The Mage Question” is.

“Oh, all those nice, older mages you’re supposed to like? You better believe they’re all liberal-ass liberals.”

“Tranquility? That thing that is basically a frontal lobotomy? FUCK YEAH WE’RE GONNA ‘BOTH SIDES’ THE HELL OUTTA THAT!”

@WastelandHound For the record, I’m STILL salty about Brad running wild during the GB GOTY talks from last year. Andromeda is worse than Battlefront 2 and Drawn to Death? REALLY BRAD, REALLY?!


Wynn is basically Nancy Pelosi.

Give me between an hour or a whole day and I’ll be back here to burn this thread down with my Dragon Age related bullshit.


There has never been a good mage in Dragon Age. Say what you want about Wynne being super centrist Chantry bootlicker, but Morrigan is an objectivist and Vivienne has an awful reformist opinions with a tasty dash of “i’m fine with all these horrible restrictions b/c they never applied to me” and a hint of “the mages should have just protested non-violently”. Dorian keeps trying to ‘it’s not that bad’ a bunch of imperial fucks who keep slaves, and Solas is Solas. Anders kicked off an entire war. Merril fucks up, but is pretty much the only mage in the trilogy of games that isn’t like, uniquely awful.

It’s honestly kind of impressive that they managed to write so many characters with a common thread tying them together (being mages), but manage to make them so widely different from each other. Too bad the best mage is in the worst game, but thankfully, you can be a mage in all three games and answer that question for yourself, much to the distaste of 90% of your party members who just want to Snuggle Forever with Andraste.

P.S. I poisoned the shit out of those ashes. ya boi wanted that reaver specialization and also fuck the chantry.


DA:II also has Bethany as a possible party member who is a pretty interesting mage that doesnt really fall into those traps, from my memory, but I’m actually not sure what determines which of Hawke’s siblings dies at the start of II.

EDIT: The more I think about my time with the whole Dragon Age series the more I like 2, especially the characters.