We Built Our Gaming Dream Teams, and Donkey Kong Got Cut

Intellectual property law is messy. Whether it's movies, books, TV, or games, franchises tend to stay with the same companies for decades, much longer than older copyright laws would've allowed for. But what if once a year, every piece of gaming IP was up for grabs, and platform holders had to draft their lineup for the next year?

This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ywy7eb/we-built-our-gaming-dream-teams-and-donkey-kong-got-cut

This episode belongs in the podcast hall of fame. Hang this episode’s jersey from the rafters. What an incredible episode.


I know it is impossible, but if this was a weekly or monthly game where a Fictional Year In Gaming played out over an actual entire year of roll playing, I think that’d be great.

Or play this on the discord server?


That was an absolutely delightful way to end the week. If you want to do more weird experiments like this, please do.


Now this is Podcasting


This was excellent. I was inspired to write a fictional legal explainer based on this…

When Austin asked how this could ever happen, I figured I had to provide some kind of answer.


Listening to it and in the most predictable move possible, Rob starts making everything incredibly over complicated at his like first transaction. This is a good podcast

Austin got thwarted by lack of research at the last minute on Granblue. It’s primarily a browser game, most people play it on their phones via chrome.

So so so good, can’t wait to see Stephen A’s hot takes on the draft picks

This would make a good end of year podcast, where they draft the next year’s releases. Then figure out a scoring system (maybe part critical reception, part sales figures) so they can determine a winner at the start of the next years draft.

I think the bidding process needs work. Sometimes free agents don’t sign because the offers aren’t high enough. They sit out part of the season or they go into arbitration. Maybe some dice rolls are needed to determine if they’ll sign, with it weighted more the lower the bid.

Also, you can’t just cut a guy under contract for no cost. You’ve got to retain salary when you buy out someone. Since we’re dealing in increments of 5 million a retention of 20% makes the math easy.


I might be biased but I think this is a pretty clear win for Rob if just because Nintendo’s first party IPs are their defining trait that singlehandedly hold up their platforms. Some of their brands are the most recognisable icons in the world. Mario on its own probably should take up half the salary cap, let alone Fortnite or Pokémon.

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i like the core concept, i like hearing the logic behind each pick and each cut, but i found trying to keep up with the draft process, which was and still is pretty much alien to me, kind of frustrating?
but i’ve listened to bunch of be good and rewatch it without having seen the movie in question and felt like i didn’t need to - i felt like the podcast discussion did not require that prior knowledge.
maybe it’s just me. i dunno.

anyway, i copied down the final lineups, if that’s helpful to anyone.
in the order they are given, starting around the 2h mark:

grand theft auto, god of war, metroid, spider-man, horizon: zero dawn, silent hill, elden ring, the avengers, kid icarus

destiny, kingdom hearts, minecraft, super smash bros, xcom, dragon’s dogma, ghostwire: tokyo, deathloop, outer wilds

mario, the legend of zelda, pokémon, fire emblem, red dead, fortnite, cyberpunk 2077, baldur’s gate, fifa

halo, final fantasy xiv, final fantasy (series), nier: automata, sea of thieves, ori, starfield, cartoon network, dwarf fortress

personally, i think cado has the best lineup, and i think that’s mostly because there are three wholly new names on there. franchises get old enough you know how a game goes just by the name on the box. sometimes that’s what you want, but there has to be something new, too, for games to be more than a performance of a selection of things everyone already knows. i know how a mario works. show me a celeste.

cartoon network is probably the single best pick though. that’s as close as you can get to picking an entire format.


I think Final Fantasy XIV and Final Fantasy series is Kawhi and PG teaming up, while Metroid and Elden Ring is Lebron and AD. Kyrie is Destiny?

This is confusing since idk how drafts work but it has been fun so far.

I’m listening right now and purposefully not reading the previous posts because I am actually terrified of running into spoilers for this stupid, stupid, wonderful, stupid thing. Great job fellas and this absolutely needs to be an annual thing from now on.

This is the thing with the max salary: it smoothes out the top. The best player in the worst team and the best player in the league often make the same amount of money. The Witcher is Devin Booker to Pokémon’s LeBron James.

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at first it really seemed to me that Rob was the kind of GM that only drafts/signs one specific type of player without any consideration about positional fit, or skillset.

It’s funny how he ended up accusing Cado of being that kind of GM at the end.

Also I’m a bit dissapointed no one went ahead straight up overpaid for a mediocre franchise, just because they really believed in the brand.

This was very good. The moment people realised the way to expand their caps was to underpay for free agents, and the trading that followed, was intense.

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i haven’t listed to this yet but just from the description i can feel the raw chaotic energy coming off of it like the final boss of a shonen action anime. this podcast is gonna stop my sword with one hand and cut me the fuck in half


I absolutely loved the Video Game Draft - despite not following professional sports at all and missing 99% of the references to NBA/NFL/etc.

Totally here for the Hot Mic Mornings energy in the Friday pods.

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