We Finally Answer the Debate: Smooth or Crunchy?


Feel free to @me you monsters


if the waypoint forum userbase leans more heavily towards kink than the normie mean, and the twitter userbase is representative of the normie mean, and we all agree that crunchy peanut butter is the kink of spreads, then these results do not surprise me

that being said: the normies…they are right


Its smooth how is this even a question.


Do you smooth people just hate texture? Might as well replace all your food with a soylent nutrient paste.


I bet smooth eaters don’t put lettuce on their sandwiches either


Fuck no I don’t use lettuce!

Meat. Cheese. Spicy mustard. I eat like a god damn ALPHA!


I eat crunchy because no one in the house I live with likes it. If I buy smooth people will eat it before I can have some.


it depends. lettuce can serve a structural role, keeping wet fillings from sogging up ur bread, but also iceberg lettuce has basically zero nutritional value and is just a staggeringly inefficient method of putting water in your mouth.


iceberg lettuce sucks. romaine or spinach all the way.


mrw i see a jar of crunchy


As far as I’m concerned this is the only correct way to prefer crunchy. Same reason I’ll get mint ice cream over chocolate or coffee.


PBJ: :+1:

Sliced shite: :-1:


I can’t imagine the joyless existence that is preferring smooth to crunchy. I think I need to play SOMA to cheer myself up now.


As other smooth advocates have said, crunchy peanut butter is useless in most cooking situations (but I did smile at the image of having to pan peanut butter like a prospector to get out the peanuts).

I also don’t like the combination of smooth and crunchy texture in foods, it’s off putting and brings to mind a lot of gross images in my mind that I won’t list here.

Recently I tried the peanut butter you make at one of those upscale supermarkets where you just grind up peanuts, but used honey roasted peanuts, that shit was goooood.

Texture was gritty though.


I think what skewes me towards crunchy is what I use peanut-butter for; I don’t cook with it or have ever had PBJ (looks yucky), but simply as a spread along with regular butter, and for that I think cruncy is very good.
Plus I don’t think I’ve even seen smooth PB in regular stores over here.


Peanut butter is one of my top five favorite foods. Toast, bagels, rice cakes, chocolate bars - these are all little more than peanut butter delivery mechanisms. As such, I’ve never understood this debate. It’s like choosing between air and water. Why in the world would you do that to yourself? Smooth sometimes, crunchy other times. Super processed, sugary, kids-food versions sometimes; goopy, oily, natural other times.

Embrace variety. Grab life by the shell. (And vote for crunchy.)


Anyway, let’s talk about jam. Do you prefer seeded and chunky, or are you a monster who likes it without any of that good stuff?


The cheapest strawberry jam. Just the worst shit. The sort where you crack the jar and see a gelatinous mirror sheen glaring back at you. No texture. No hint that any part of this was once fruit.

Just… jam.







The only type of jam that’s better without lumps is raspberry because those seeds are - I believe - classified as a prohibited weapon under the Great Preserve Accords which were signed following the Jam-Jelly Border Skirmish of 1907 [citation needed]