Weekly Thread! If You Were a Boss Fight What Kind Of Boss Fight Would You Be

Sif
Boss Fights: an iconic part of many video games. Boss fights are where the game has a chance to be memorable and knows it. Just saying names like “Papa Gascoigne” to the “Dung Defender” to “Sephiroth,” (help me out with some other bossses here lol), can evoke strong memories.

But what if YOU were Wreck-It-Ralphed into a video game as a boss? What would your boss stage be? Would you taunt the protagonist or get down to business? What would your moveset be? What would your look be? Would you be a platforming challenge? A Raid boss that only had time for a well coordinated stack? Would you have a second form? A third? Would you have adds? Would people have to whittle you down or would you have a damage phase?

3 Likes

I want to be the rival character boss that you fight three times and is the best bosses in the game. They look just like the player but are edgier and thus cooler and hotter.

6 Likes

something of a cross between the squad bosses in ace combat and the end from mgs 3

2 Likes

If I’m being perfectly honest with myself, I would absolutely be a palate swap of Papu Papu from Crash Bandicoot 1

4 Likes

I would be an annoying puzzle boss fight like the Bed of Chaos. Not really even a boss fight, just an annoying motherfucker. A real piece of shit type roadblock of a boss fight. You hate me! I hate myself! But I am iconic.

6 Likes

Gotta be a weird meta bit where the boss (me) complains about how boss fights kinda suck and too often add nonsensical new mechanics while the boss (me) must be defeated by nonsensical new mechanics.

4 Likes

Basically i’d be the ground pound boss

2 Likes

cute girl bullet hell boss in a metroidvania

7 Likes

I’m a minigame boss. Late game area, there’s probably a tougher boss before and after me. You hope to kill me in one hit and move on? Too bad, I have an unexplained invincible barrier around me so it’s time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel, baby. Hope you’ve been collecting those Gwent cards.

6 Likes

I’m one of those bosses from Dark Souls II that nobody likes because they’re just a big guy or whatever.

8 Likes

I want to be one of those boss fights where the level is actually the boss fight and I, the villain is just taunting the hero over the intercom behind bullet proof glass. Ultimately I meet my end when the player makes it through the level and into my bulletproof room.

5 Likes

One of those fucked up fighting game bosses that is clearly reading your inputs.

5 Likes

I’d be just like The End from Metal Gear Solid 3 except if you don’t play the game for a while after triggering my fight when you load your save again you’ll be at the start of the game in the tutorial section. I mean, it’s been a minute since you played the game and you probably forgot how to play anyway…

But wait, the controls seem a little different than what you remember. The camera controls are inverted and the button mappings are different… because I’ve jumbled them up! You have to defeat me without changing your control because I’m holding the options menu hostage!!!

8 Likes

that guy off of zelda who’s just a big fuckin face on the floor you put bombs on because i don’t wanna move around too much

6 Likes

This, except I’d be the variant where the villain is trying to convince the hero that they’ve been lied to, and they should join forces throughout the level.
And there’s a hidden achievement for not fighting at the end and joining me instead.

3 Likes

I’m a boss who shows up, like, three times to teach the value of buffs and debuffs. The first time it’s pretty simple, I have a regeneration buff and sleep spells that make me basically impossible to finish without using poison that does percentile damage, debuffing my defences or buffing your offences.

The second time I get into weirder interactions, using a debuff that reverses damage and healing then casting a resurrection spell to instakill you, casting reflect on everyone and bouncing spells at you to bypass it while making it more awkward for you to heal, using a levitation effect and earthquake-based spells that would normally hit me, too.

The last time I show up as an optional post-game boss with really unfair tactics. Using a buff that doubles my actions at the expense of inflicting doom on myself, then transferring my debuffs to all enemies when the timer hits one so you need to actually remove the debuff from me to avoid getting wiped, that kind of thing.

3 Likes

Giovanni from 1st gen Pokemon. You have to backtrack to some tiny town you passed through a long time ago to fight some guy sitting in a chair with his cat in his lap in a building you thought was an abandoned warehouse.

1 Like

I would be the gullible scientist boss who gets tricked by the big bad into making them robot Pokemon because dang those images online sure do look cool and it’s kind of messed up that we have Pokemon fight other Pokemon for sport. So I would probably be a mid game boss in a big Zoid like Pokemon where after you beat me I realize I’ve been tricked (“gasp”) and help you out the rest of the game.

3 Likes

My first thought is something like the Colossi from Shadow of the Colossus. Just a big, largely benign presence that you have to go out of your way to fight. Also you feel bad after killing it.

That or a mid-to-late tier gym leader (ice-type).

5 Likes

A “Secret” boss located right after the game opens up for the first time, but the secret is so obvious that no-one really misses it. A two phase fight, with the first phase being a gimmick where you pull three switches, and the second phase has very flashy, super telegraphed energy melee moves that do way less damage than it looks they should do. After you win, you feel pretty good at the game and ready to explore more.

There’s a glitch that 100% speed runners use where I fall through the geometry into the lava below.

2 Likes