What game are you playing?

I watched that Doctor Who episode with the human-Dalek hybrids on a plane once. The one with repeated over-the-shoulder shots of the human-Dalek. The human-Dalek that has tentacles sticking out of its face that wriggle around suggestively. The flight attendant happened to be passing down the aisle during that scene and actually stopped to ask me what the hell I was watching.

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They all have this dumb mini game to varying degrees of cheap trashiness. God of War 1 hides it, Chains, 3, and Ascension throw it in your face, and 2 hides it AND treats it like the joke it is. Oh and in Ghost of Spartan he bangs a whole brothel because God of War 3 had just happened and there were so few ways they could escalate at that point.

That’s the mid-00s baby. Remember Ivy in Soulcaliber 4? We were in a pre-ludonarrative dissonance world where they were still releasing DoA Beach Volleyball games. It just wasn’t cringe like it super is now.

If you ever get to God of War 3 the way they put the sex mini game it’s basically straight Cinemax softcore.

However, GOW3 did have my favorite GOW sex scene failure event in which the handmaidens watching the scene reacted in confusion, almost as if they were wondering if Kratos learned his technique from the older kid at summer camp who definitely had had sex before and made sure to tell all the younger campers about how good he was at it.

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I read an interview where John Carpenter described how much he liked that scene because you got to push a button to bang a lady.

Your heroes are only human and they will let you down, is what I’m saying.


i’d love to read the text of that interview. :joy:

You’re welcome. Also, remember when actual Hollywood folks were into co-producing and writing games? Lollipop Chainsaw, from the twisted mind of the guy who now does superhero movies.


Yeah totally, I also made the puzzle comparison while playing! It’s funny though, maybe it’s because I had just played through the rest of the series, but I ended up loving that aspect haha

It was like going from a looser form of poetry to a restrictive one, where the fun comes from pushing up against the limits of the rules. Figuring out how I could make this specific set of powers overlap and bending their use cases was really engaging and a nice change up from the other games where I could always purchase a new power to get through an area.

Adjacent to this, I’m still processing my thoughts on this game abandoning the chaos system and what that both means for the gameplay, and says thematically about the game. I initially disliked it, had a turn where I was more into it, and now kind of dislike it again but need to think a bit more to really express why.

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I’m now onto Episode 3 of DUSK and I am very, very glad I’ve stuck with it. The level and encounter design have improved dramatically. Would strongly recommend to any fans of fast, DOOM-type combat.


So, I tried playing a bit of Haque, and I dunno, I’m not really feeling the glitchcore superficially meta commentary on RPG roguelites (ho ho ho, menus where the only options are “yes” and “yes”, hyper talkative narrator characters who are clearly evil, etc).

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Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart is a strange beast. The numbers go up. The guns go boom. That loop hasn’t changed.

But there’s definitely something new at play here. All of the lessons Insomniac learned in making Marvel’s Spider-Man a joy to navigate are at play here. The dodge is tremendous. All of the levels are big and open now and full of secrets. It doesn’t not load but it’s hidden in clever camera work that you hardly notice or it’s executed in such dramatic fashion you forget that what they’re doing has never been done before. For a franchise that never really went that deep on story, they’re really bringing some heat here. I do wish they’d be a little more generous with the bolts but honestly it just gives me reason to play it more.


Here I am, finally getting to the new content in Persona 5 Royal. I think this game was more political than it got credit for, even if it never quite comes together in a thesis statement that makes a lot of sense.

Also, Goro Akechi is great. He’s done nothing wrong ever, and I’m happy to finally get to the third semester where he can be the edgy Hot Topic teen he’s always deserved to be.

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Definitely one of those games where the sheer presentation–at least for me–is overwhelming enough that the gameplay problems don’t bother me. I feel the exact opposite about Mass Effect 2. I wish I loved that game…I really do.

Lately I have been getting rocked in Knockout City, competitive PVP is so low on my list of games I usually like its wild to me how much the gameplay has me hooked. I am kind of hoping I can find a good group and really sink into it.

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I am on vacation for a bit, which means I am down to my handhelds for the next week or so. And since I recently bought a nice pretty New 3DS because my old XL was taking about five minutes to turn on, I figured it was finally time to take one more attempt at actually finishing EarthBound.

And like… what can I say? It’s really good. Genuinely weird and entertaining in unexpected ways. You never quite know what a character is going to say, or what an enemy is going to do, and it’s sometimes laugh-out-loud funny. The soundtrack is perfect for setting this weird, off-putting Middle America atmosphere with a bit of sci-fi. For a game that so many things have tried to emulate, it doesn’t feel particularly dated. The scrolling health is a genuinely great mechanic for a turn-based JRPG, and the way it just auto-wins you battles you’re too high a level for is the kind of great QoL feature I wish more games had tried to ape. A while back I heard someone say that it feels not like a children’s story, but a story told by children, with lots of weird tangents and flights of fancy and things that make only a very imaginative kind of sense — and that scans. And something about that is just eminently fresh and comfortable.


I also tried playing ULTRAKILL again, since the latest update added a tier of “Easy” modes (one interesting thing ULTRAKILL does is to have a pair of modes at each difficulty, the latter one of which is faster than the first).
It’s still far too fast-paced for me to keep up with it - the Easy modes (Harmless and Lenient) make enemies less dangerous, but I die to my own inability to keep up with movement when sliding or jumping more than actually being hit by attacks.

(Meanwhile, I also reinstalled VVVVVV since it’s in the itch Palestine Bundle, and it’s still as great as it always was - a pleasant 25 minutes so far, with chiptunes, arcade puzzles and collectables.)

I’m locked in to the loop of Assassin’s Creed Valhalla now after falling away from it in November. These games really are the equivalent of a KFC bucket, aren’t they? It’s pure garbage junk food that I can’t help but turn to when I can’t be bothered with anything more taxing or engaging. It’s not to disparage this game either, it’s fun to play! Male Eivor is very cool, the world is gorgeous in 4K (only The Last of Us 2 and Final Fantasy VII Remake look better from what I’ve seen) and the addition of little activities like flyting and cairn stones are fun and different additions to the core gameplay loop of stabbing and fighting.

It’s just fast food at the end of the day for better and for worse.


I’m in the last ~20% of Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart. My complaints about the bolts being a little stingy still hold (I’m still missing two weapons) but otherwise it’s just amazing.

I was deep in that loop for Odyssey until recently when I wrapped up the main game. I bounced off it real hard when I first tried it (after enjoying Origins a whole lot) but I eventually came back to it and yeah, there’s just something about clearing a big old map that can be comfort food or whatever right? I’d like to go back in and wrap up the cultists storyline and then the DLC but oh boy there is a lot of game left and I think I need a palette cleanser of other things first.

Also, the (unsupported) Linux build of Anodyne doesn’t seem to work (because apparently Anodyne is a Flash game behind the scenes, and the linux port tries to install Adobe AIR, which I don’t think is actually available now Flash is EoL).
So if anyone has any ideas how to actually play it…

Yea, totally. I’m glad these games are every two years because they’re my guilty pleasure but they’re so long and if it wasn’t for lockdown I don’t think I could’ve made it through Origins, Odyssey and now Valhalla in about a year and a half.

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