Who’s in your JRPG party?


I heard this on the pod and loved the idea. They did celebrities and historical figures, but y’all do what ya want. I want Genghis Khan as my warrior (minus the rape), Dave Grohl as my bard, and Morgan Freeman as my rogue/spokesperson. Y’all know his Speech is at 100.


RBG, AOC, and OPP. Yeah, you know me.


Gonna bring Ching Shih as the party backbone. If you don’t know her, look her up, a former prostitute turned brothel owner turned greatest pirate in all history. Had a fleet of over 1800 at one point. Undefeated, took an offer for quiet retirement. Reckon if there’s anything that REALLY needs doing she’s the lady to go for. Think she’d officially be the Rogue in class terms,.

So, assuming by assigning someone the Mage role they just get to be able to cast spells; Gonna go with Yoko Taro as the party Mage, because frankly I have no idea what sort of magic he could cast, but I wanna see it and I wanna have it on my team.

And I’m just gonna go with a wildcard in the hope that the real man lives up to the legend, and pull out Robin Hood as the Ranger.


Sammo Hung as the Monk, Yuri Gagarin as the Scout, Toshiro Mifune as the Samurai/Bard/Sex Symbol




Who fills which role?


Team Leader: Motoko Kusanagi. She is just most competent soldier in existence. I would also like to ride on a tachicoma.


Healer: Tony Tony Chopper. He’s cute. He’s a doctor. He can transform to fight when needed.


Scholar/Alchemist: Alphonse Elric was a damn good pick. He’s intelligent. He finds stray cats. Most importantly, though, he’s kind. He’s the group’s conscience. While he has more utility as a soul bound to a suit of armor, I’d rather he be in his human body because he’d rather be in his human body.



I immediately thought of Masako Nozawa. One of my gripes with JRPGs is how many saddle you with some nasty old man on your team but you never get a cool old lady, and Nozawa is the most powerful old lady the world has ever known. The problem with this is I don’t think anyone else is cool enough to be in her party.


Stealthy Rouge

Cheerful Bard

Powerful Fighter

Wise Warlock

And comic relief cowboy


I’m thinking we go with a dresssphere system. It gives us flexibility plus we get to wear some bomb ass outfits.


If that’s the case give me the trainer dressphere. My Great Dane and I hunt hogs down here in Texas.


What class is Quavo? Lol


As long as your party is called Naughty by Nature.


Daisy Ridley - she’s our protagonist and maintains being buffer than god. I’m the gloomy black mage. We’re taking down a lecherous king and inspiring the centrists to radicalization.

William Moulton Marston - academic and either serves as a high-DPS weapons specialist or our white mage. His character scenes are less about his arc and more about the rest of the party’s. The Wonder Women outfit our party.

Janelle Monae - Well, truly, she’s here as the Electric Lady, Cindi Mayweather, though the Wonder Women might land on some of her Dirty Computer looks as well. A combination tank/bard, the Dance Apocalyptic is akin to Knights of the Round. Also, she does the party’s makeup.


My first thought when I heard it on the podcast was Pierre Elliot Trudeau. He’ll flip off protesters, curse in Parliament and use the War Measures Act during peacetime; he’s not putting up with your bullshit. I had a social studies teacher who met him at a ski resort on vacation once. Apparently he came across someone who hit a tree and was waiting with him while his bodyguards went to get help.

My next party member is Roald Dahl. A WWII fighter ace, diplomat and author. He’s also not going to put up with your bullshit and gets things done. He even invented a piece of medical equipment after his son got hit by a car.

And the last party member is Danielle Riendeau. An MMA fighter, volunteer EMT and union negotiator who I feel would get along well with the other party members.


I pick my big cousins, but they’re as big to my enemies as they seemed to me when I was five, so they’re unbeatable in battle and basketball.


Muhammad Ali, Walter Benjamin, and Cardi B

fighter, chronicler, and bard respectively, but all of us would be united by the desire to fuck up some fash assholes with the combined powers of fists, critical theory, and music. I suppose I’d be a mage?

Afterwards we would go play some putt-putt with Kaneda Shotaro (Akira) because he just wants to have a good time, Akko Kagari (Little Witch Academia) because she would get really into it and encourage everyone to do their best, and Lando Calrissian (Star Wars) because he would just go with the flow and have some great stories (and I just want to stealth Billy Dee Williams into my putt-putt group)


I’m definitely settled on Paul Robeson as bard. Torn between Ursula Le Guin and Mary Shelley for chronicler, and I kinda want Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for muscle and moral support. Hopefully Robeson can radicalize the Rock a bit.


Jesus party cleric and paladin

Jackie Chan Warrior/martial artist

David Blaine party rogue/mage I guess.

Leaving me as villager


My party and their character classes: