I had purchased The New Order back in the close of 2014. I’m pretty sure it was during one of Amazon’s flash sales, because I remember grabbing it for 20 bucks. I was still pretty heavy into GTAV at the time so it sat wrapped in plastic next to my new Xbox One for a while.
[details=To spare you from a wall of words, I’ve enclosed additional context within this spoiler tag.]
I had been estranged from my mother for about 15 years. My parents had divorced when I was 10, and my dad was awarded custody due to my mother’s drug problem. She had fallen into the Meth culture of California’s Antelope Valley in the early 1990’s. My dad wasn’t necessarily the shining beacon of parenthood either, being a cross between “The Dude” and Lawrence from Office Space. His plan was to move my sister and I up to Western Montana to live with my grandparents; my Grandma Bonnie, a retired LA Sherrif’s Department Lieutenant, and my Grandpa Cliff, a retired LAFD Fireman.
It was a huge change from what I was used to, going from the freshly paved roads and layed sidewalks of Palmdale, CA to rugged and rustic Ravalli County, MT. I had no where to skate, as the nearest patch of smooth pavement was 4 miles away, which might as well be China to a 10 year old. I was no longer a latch-key kid with my run of the neighborhood. My days were strictly regimented: Wake-up was 6AM to feed the chickens and the dogs, I needed to be squared away by 6:45 in order to make it to the bus stop (2 miles away) by 7:15, School until 3:30, Upon getting home I had more chores, which would rotate during the week but basically had to do with aiding my grandparents with their goat ranch. Dinner at 6:30, and if I finished my homework by 8, I could watch an hour of TV before I had to be in bed at 9.
I hated it. At first, but as time went on, I became more disciplined, more self sufficient. In a real true sense, not like I was back in Palmdale. I was doing well in school and I was generally liked for my straight-forward but polite nature.
I would get to talk to my mother about once a month. She would spend most of the call talking to my older sister though. I missed her dearly, even with how abusive she got the more meth took over her life, she was still my mother.
About a year after moving up to Montana, my sister and I got to go down and visit her. She was doing ok, but still using. She was dating an Axel Rose wannabe who had a car detailing business. He was an alright guy, always telling me that he really liked my mom. I though it was pretty cool that he had an X-Men arcade game in his garage. The whole time I was there though, my mother was more interested in hanging out with my sister. It made me sad, but I was still happy that I could spend some time close to her.
Time rolled on, I got older. My mom rotated though several more boyfriends, each sketchier than the last. The infrequent visits would be spent training my sister in the various scams that she would run for cash and other supplies. She tried once to involve me in one, and I balked at the opportunity much to her chagrin. I’ve never been a good lier, and I had no desire to practice.
By the time I was an adult, she was living in a makeshift shack on a piece of property she inherited in Squaw Valley, CA. She was squatting there with a group of tweakers, one of which she claimed was her husband.
As much as it pained me to do so, her continued resistance to any help my sister and I offered to her pushed me away to the point of writing her off completely. I was only interested if she was going to make the effort to fix her life.
This unfortunately would not come to pass…[/details]
In the spring of 2015 my mother was killed in a fire, the circumstances of which are sketchy at best. It’s possible that it was a meth lab explosion, but she was locked inside with her dogs, and the explosion happened after the fire started. Meth had completely ruined her life, and ultimately took it from her. Having been estranged from her for so long, her death and the details surrounding it still haunt me to this day. Really the only catharsis I found that helped me though it was brutally murdering as many Nazis as I could.
The most satisfying moment was turning that giant mech against Frau Engel. She was such a good villain, and I just projected all of my anger and malice towards that Nazi witch. I was able to fully enter the mindset of BJ, because well, Nazi’s were tweakers too. The worst ever.
This is the beauty of video games, though. Not saying that killing Nazis in a video game is therapeutic or anything, but it’s a hell of a great outlet for justice rage.
Now I’m excited to fuck up some Klansmen as well. It’s also gonna be funny to see all the white nationalists get triggered by this game thinking it’s some kind of a commentary on Trump.
Apologies for the darkness, but Vice has this air of realness to it and I just felt like sharing.