You’ve busted your ass with this rpg. At least 80 hours. You enter a grand chamber, there’s a figure standing at the other end. You dash towards them, the villain draws a weapon.
What do you say to each other?
Mine:
“You’ve gotten a lot farther than you should have, but then, you haven’t Frank Horrigan either. YOUR RIDE’S OVER, MUTIE. TIME TO DIE”
“Huh, Frank who?”
“Me, FRANK HORRIGAN, that’s who. United States Secret Service. You aren’t going anywhere from here.”
Spoilers for Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance I guess, but it’s been meme’d up for so long that you probably know some of this if you know anything about the game.
That being said, the first SIXTEEN FUCKING MINUTES of this video.
This whole scene kicks ass but specifically shoutouts to the fucking angel wings knuckle crack https://youtu.be/oHbxNlvgAVQ?t=243
Then technically the fight’s already started at this point, but has it REALLY started until you’ve pressed the “FUCK YOU” button?
Draigoch from Lord of the Rings Online always immediately comes to mind. He’s a dragon, so points already. I love that he starts out by literally inviting you to come into his lair so he can “share” stuff from his hoard. But of course he’s not going to, because he’s a fucking dragon. And he ends his speech on a pretty good boast.
The Touhou franchise has a ton of great pre-fight dialogue, but one of my fav snippets for the extra stage boss of Touhou 6: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil:
Flandre: “I’ve been resting in the basement for about 495 years”
Anyways, I’d probably throw out the scene before you fight Anubis in the first Zone of the Enders. For those unaware, the Anubis mech is the single strongest mech in the franchise and you get to fight it for real in the second game. In the first game, your mech doesn’t have close to the necessary upgrades to fight it as it flash steps around you, so you have to survive. The entire battle is short but extremely cool with one my the most unnerving boss tracks that has ever come out of a Konami game.
The scene before the fight, the Anubis just appears and your mech is basically saying that you need to run or you are going to die. The build up pays off well once it starts DBZ’ing you while you’re still on DragonBall power levels.
I’d also throw out this scene that plays right before the gorilla mid boss in GOD HAND. And just most every mid boss pre-fight scene in GOD HAND. They’re all amazing but this is my favorite.
cowboy flipping tricks “This is the greatest handgun ever made: The Colt Single Action Army. Six bullets. More than enough to kill anything that moves. Now I’ll show you why they call me… Revolver.”
Not totally, he even still has his “I have a dream” line in Japanese. His vocabulary in English is just a much more specific/borderline clairvoyant sort of nightmare.
hi? hello? hello this is an excuse to talk about Silhouette Mirage hello???
Silhouette Mirage is a Treasure game, so it has like a million bosses, including but not limited to:
A Cardboard Game Show Host
A Noisy Samurai
A Little Boy Who Is A Werewolf
A Very Fancy Man Eating A Very Large Bowl of Soup
And all of the exchanges before these boss fights are very silly and corny and fun. Though I do warn that the English translation for the Playstation has some… problems. Specifically in its dub. (Such as giving the samurai a racist accent) (it also has some issues with difficulty changes, but that’s a different issue)
Zohar is also canonically non-binary? Like, actually unironically? Like, they don’t use that language, and it probably wasn’t intentional, but they literally alternate between a girl and a boy version? And the different versions have different movesets? And they have different post-fight dialogue based on which version you beat them in? It’s so good?
Anyway secretly Silhouette Mirage is a Touhou game and its one of the best games ever, please re-release this game please? with maybe a better translation? please put this game out again so i can play it and other people can play it? i love this game??? hello please???
It’s not really a boss fight, but the “this is that part” segment leading up to the big confrontation in Portal 2 is still my favorite joke in video games.
